medals | !INBOX // EUDIO.

alright smartass
i think i have a crush
now you're gonna tell me how to get rid of it

do i get to know who on

fuck no
you'll hunt her down and make me look like an idiot
or an asshole
or both

just tell me how to stop this

john wtf i'm not an animal

john i have some bad news for and some good news for you
i fell in love with my last two crushes (bad news)
i'm dating one (good news) and one fucked off forever (bad news)

i mean you could tell her hope for scathing rejection to get over it faster

i'm really bad at this

shit
you know what happened with my last two
i mean most of it
i haven't given you all the updates here

i don't wanna do this again
it's bad enough with those two here
she's just
she's just FUCKING COOL and i don't wanna do this

it can't have possibly gotten more complicated

am i ... your crush???

[she's cool right]

...
no jem
this isn't my roundabout way of saying i have a crush on you
what the hell
put the ego down for a sec and keep up

[Oh THAT IS RICH.]

the other two are always complicated
forget them for now
this is someone totally new and she's a badass
and funny and has a good head on her shoulders
the right kinda priorities y'know?
and she's hot

i got no hope on this one

ok first of all i'm very cool
and second of all this is a devestating blow for my ego

how old is she

you'll survive

i dunno, i never asked
hold on

[He's just checking Cuddlr here...]

19
i figured she was about my age

no i won't, you think someone's cooler than me :(

oh that's cool
just ask her out ffs. you are literally here to get laid. go get laid

i never even said that
i just don't have a crush on you
that's a good thing
i'd mostly hate you right now if i did

not that
i don't hate her
but it's awkward and shit, it's not that easy
this is what crushes do

very rude

ok what you do is ask her over to netflix and chill
and then you subtly go in for a cuddle

I KNOW HOW TO PUT THE MOVES ON SOMEONE

[He's made a huge mistake.]

THEN DO IT

[yes he has]

fine
fine i'm going to
forget all the crush bullshit
i'm just gonna do it

were you this much of a nerd before

and in the meantime
i'm never talking to you again

well that's a lie

i came to you for help
what the hell good have you been?

you at the start of this conversation: weak
you now: making moves

i wasn't WEAK
i'm not weak
i just don't want this shit getting out of control

okay realistically speaking do you want this to go anywhere?

ok because real talk, i guess
it can really, really hurt. i thought i was ready for it being temporary and i really, really was not. i don't even how i'd take petre leaving now.

Edited 2015-11-20 02:23 (UTC)

real talk?
i've never had anything go anywhere
i don't know what it fucking looks like except from the outside
long term, temporary, whatever
never happened

ask her out.

you don't have any history with her. it's uncomplicated.
see where it goes.

i wanted to get rid of this

but if it's just a date
i can do that

you can't switch off your feelings, unfortunately.

yeah, i know that much
now i'm just running straight for them
shows how much i learned

well if it all goes tits up you can come and get smashed at petre's house with me
he'll probably be unconscious

has he been sober yet
at all, for like a second

yeah on his birthday
but mostly because i took him by surprise with plans

and he had to get it up so

should i stage an intervention???

i saw him when he was pretty fucked up
he had it bad for that guy, huh

it's complicated

i don't think cole really knew how deep it went with petre? they were completely different with one another than they were with me

he doesn't seem like that deep a guy
i know i don't know him that well but he doesn't
he didn't anyway

i dunno
i never even met this guy
i just know a bunch of people went off the deep end when he left

i wouldn't call him deep but he's
you know
not all shallow and full of shit all of the time?

yeah he helped people a lot here. he helped me a lot. we just
talked about stuff all the time. he let me come over at arse o'clock if i had a nightmare, no matter what. he just understood all my shit and i think i got most of his.
i never had that before with someone who wasn't actually a cunt deep down.

and i know he did all that for other people too, but does it make me a bad person if i don't give a shit about them?

petre said the same thing
so you're a good match

[Well. That sounds like a damn good friendship, he has to admit. And he can see how the feelings would run deeper. It's hard to stay bitter about that.]

i know what you mean about someone getting your shit
and how it feels when someone finally gets it
especially when no one did at the time

[That might be when it clicked over with Lex, actually. When she saw his memory and understood every single goddamned second better than his friends had.]

ofc we are.

idk i think it's hard to find people like that? so it's important when you do find them.

i mean it
couples are usually gross as shit to me
but when i saw you two together

[Nothing else comes after that. Just the idea, maybe, enough of a seed to put it there, that they helped with his willingness to try something real.]

did we make you believe in true love
awwhhh

not to burst your bubble but he hasn't said the l word

do i really seem like the type who wants that

you really don't want me to answer that

why?
why would you think i'm looking for fucking love and not
just someone who gets me
finally

it's the same thing

no
it's not
even that's not enough

what is it with you and petre jfc

how'd he get back into this?

'even that's not enough'

it's not
love's conditional, temporary, selfish
and useless
not interested

inspirational, i've seen the light now

you think what you want
just don't drag me into it

good luck with avoiding love forever

i managed for 18 years so far

well you're not a pyschopath so that's bullshit

look at how well you know me
what do you really know about me jem

i hope this isn't a dramatic lead up to all the bad shit you've done john

i'm not trying to be an arsehole here but i can guarantee you it's not that bad

nah
nothing like that
i never got the chance to do half of what i could or wanted to

but you still don't know me

yet

i know you think green day's greatest song is shit and that makes you wrong about most things by default

greatest song
holy shit that concert was a total fluke
you have no taste
have you heard anything else by green day

[Deflection activated, there we go.]

VERY RUDE

what's YOUR favourite green day song

attachment: paradise.mp3

it's alright

no taste

Attachment: sorryurnot.mp3

ha ha
funny
we're going on a date alright?
you got me to do that much
leave it at that

i feel really powerful

whatever gets you going
and if you think i'm ever coming to you for advice on this again
it's not happening

don't be like that john :(

bye jem

[Not even a thank you :( And she thought she knew sulking before.]

dick!

[LAUGHING]

Jem, in two weeks it's my birthday.

( slightly more than two weeks, and this is going somewhere, can't you just feel it. )

is it really

[if petre has gossiped about her pegging him he's dead]

I want to use the stage at work to do the Christmas dance scene from Mean Girls and take some photos :) I need three other people :) :) :)

you know all you have to do is ask petre and he'll do it
he's really easy

[she's not asking about petre jem]

I don't even have to ask I'm going to throw the costume at his head and tell him we're doing it, but that leaves two more. So Since it's my birthday And I heard about the kitchen :)

who told you about the kitchen???

i'll kill him

do i have to dance

Yes.

i'm a terrible dancer

It's a terrible dance, you'll be fine. It'll be fun! And there'll be booze.

i'm sceptical but open minded. but i'll be there for the booze.

[she's never having sex in a kitchen again]

There will be video and pictures and everyone will be drunk enough to smile for me, it's going to be great. I usually have sort of a whole winter festival for my birthday, practically, but I thought I'd rein it in a little this year.

ilde do you really need a whole winter festival?

I mean, it's nice to have.

have you considered the little party areas they have in mcdonalds though

For some reason that has never come up as a suggestion before it's a mystery as to why

you've been friends with all the wrong people
just think
we could be doing the superman song with mcnuggets

You are not getting out of the Santa suit that easily !

karma is slowly kicking my arse for all my sins

Just the ones committed on my benchtop. You'll have fun! Or you'll get blackout drunk and I'll swear afterwards you enjoyed it. I don't know if I'll bother having a proper party, though. Maybe just you and me and Petre and Freddie and someone to hold the camera.

we take shots every time petre suggests a) we have a foursome and b) make a sex tape

Then we'll need a sixth to call the ambulance

that's too close to potentially giving him his orgy dreams

What if we just make out and don't let him join in

perfect tbh

See, I knew it'd be fun.

we might have to like
gag him

he's very sulky

I mean that just sounds like fun

Help.

okay this is ominous

Because it is. And you're like--

--you're like the only girl I really trust to talk to, here.

alex wtf, what happened?

I think I like someone.

[You have to deal with these poor stunted male mutants Jem.]

Edited 2015-12-18 14:57 (UTC)

[WELP]

well the first step to solving this problem is figuring out if you like them

Let me correct myself.

I do. A lot. Which freaks me out mainly because--everything in my life is always fucked, Jem.

I mean, I usually pull this whole 'I'm James Dean I'm a loner fuck off feelings' shit.

So I shouldn't care if it doesn't go well, right?

But I do.

Sorry--I know I shouldn't bother you with this. But you're the only person I trust. That actually is in a relationship.

you sound like me last march

okay i'm gonna say this not as someone who's in a relationship, but who lost someone here i cared about a whole fucking lot
if you make the effort, it's worth it even if it doesn't work out.

do they like you?

I think so?

I'm pretty sure. Considering we've been...fucking a lot.

And kinda dating? I mean we see each other a lot.

But I also have no fucking experience with this.

We haven't talked about this.

Fuck I don't know, this is stupid.

Edited 2015-12-18 15:43 (UTC)

pretty sure my contract's ending soon.

how soon?

don't know probably won't make it to march

i think my second one runs out in april?

[u can't leave without her wtf]

what should we do then

are you gonna leave?

i dont know i guess i could ask for something else

like what?

you tell me

9 billion to feed your girlfriends chocolate habit

Edited 2016-02-01 21:33 (UTC)

you asked for more time, didn't you?
could ask to avoid hell altogether. to just keep going somehow.

the 9 billion would be easier only way i avoid hell is if i break the deal

what happens if you break the deal?

i can't

would you die?

i'm dying either way

you're not allowed to die, i'm forbidding it.

i don't think that's how it works jem but i'm touched

there has to be a way.
can't you just wish for
idk
for your places to be switched?

you want me to become the devil?

well it sounds dramatic when you say it like that.

i don't want you to die, stupid.

there isn't much else i can do about that.

petre we're in a city that can do anything.

so yes, you want me to become the devil

would that stop you dying?

i guess? it's not like you can kill the devil

can you actually become the devil? is that a thing?

i dont know they have rules about the kind of things yo ucan ask for

if you ask to go off the devil's radar, would you have to give up diana?

yeah. she's her messiah, remember.

ask samantha what your options are. the one's that don't mean you have to give her up.

do you have a driver's license

no but it's never stopped me driving before

hmmmm good to know

hey so your boyfriend is an unsentimental demon and I don't have one

be my valentine

ilde that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me

I know, right? If you had a license I was going to let you drive the Jag, even.

boooooo
i'm a good driver!

[ valentine's day is a stupid day, but if it hadn't been for jem, he wouldn't have known about it, and thus wouldn't have been able to judge it incredibly. he doesn't know how to show jem he appreciates her friendship, aside from taking her out on march 12 to buy her a hotdog and submit himself to her whims. ]

[ either way, bellamy doesn't think much on the fact he's about to show her a side of him she may not know. it's something he learned from mom, a piece of her he hasn't let anyone take from him. on her doorstep is a small cardboard box, no address or stamp on it to say it's gone through the postal service to be delivered. inside, on a christmas tag, she'll see Weenie written across it. and inside the box, she'll find a (small) weenie. ]

fancy a salad?

Edited 2016-02-15 19:32 (UTC)

so many jokes, so little time.

happy valentines day, alfredo.

Remember to get your 5 a day.

Happy valentines x

i've got a date with ilde today, but come hang out with me tomorrow. i bought loads of chocolate which aren't as good at facials, but taste 900 times better.

Tell Petre to lay off the asparagus.

And all right. You'll have to be gentle with me, though. Bit sore.

i don't think he knows what a vegetable is.

who did you do

Jesus, no wonder it tastes like shit.

I wish. No one, for five fucking days. Or non-fucking days, I suppose.

rank.

christ freddie, did you give it up for lent?

Sucked off a bodybuilder this one time. High protein diet. First time I ever spat.

It's starting to feel like it. No. Broke a few ribs.

jesus freddie! what happened?

He was fine with it. Barely noticed I used his shirt for a tissue.

disgusting and also not what we're talking about

did someone hurt you?

No [Kind of.] Fell out with some masonry. You can put the gun back under your pillow now.

gave it to cole.

really. that's all?

It was a bloody big wall.

who pushed you into it?

It onto me.

Fucking hell.

A dragon.

okay. i'm not fighting a dragon for you.

i've got ridiculously strong pain killers, i'll bring them tomorrow for you. i've also got gin which does the same job.

20 questions about a wall falling on me, none about a dragon??

Okay.

It's fine, got some from the hospital. Pills, they don't do gin.

dragons are bigger than me.

well i do gin so you're in luck.

Everyones bigger than you.

how many ribs did you break

Don't be so sensitive.

you don't see me making cracks at your dick do you

It's not exactly something I'm insecure about.

you will be when i'm through with it

wait that came out wrong

Bloody hell. So much for going gentle.

with words
i'm going to destroy it with words

Jem.

The problem is, it would only work if any of them were true.

you're so full of yourself

I've seen enough to be objective. And objectively, I've got a nice cock.

Actually, objectively I've got a really nice cock, but there's no need to brag.

we'll see.

fancy helping me look at flat listings online too btw.

Moving out of the lesbian lounge?

funny

but yeah. probably. time to do the right thing and save them from having to listen to me and count sulkula.

So you're looking for a place about ten miles out of town.

Ilde's got about five thousand rooms in her palace, don't know if you noticed.

i'm not moving in with him, half living there is fine.

You could always get a wing on the opposite side of the courtyard.

But yeah, I can help you look.

You can look from my spare room, if you like.

i could move in two houses down the road and he'd probably freak out.

is your living room suddenly inhabitable?

Always has been, but most people prefer to stay in one of the rooms with beds.

are you offering me your spare room?

If you like. It is spare.

really?

Unless someone moved in without letting me know then, yeah.

are you cool with my cat?

If I don't have to feed it.

And the rent's free. Well, the rent pays you.

you'll have to feed her. she's demanding.

i also come with a shady twink.

I'm immune.

I thought you didn't want to live with him?

bullshit.

he stays over and takes up 99% of my bed.

Try me.

I don't care who stays over, so long as you don't care who's staying over with me. And no going in my room if you're not an official resident.

i'll keep him away from your undies, don't worry.

You'd better, they're in high demand.

i bet they are.

So when do you think you'll be leaving muff mansions?

next month, probably? before my birthday anyway.

When's that?

march :)

March the

29th.

You can have a housewarming party.

we don't have to do that

But if we do it joint with your birthday people can bring me presents too.

For the house.

Being warmed.

i feel so used

Lucky you.

no banners

It's a party, not a protest march.

i'm serious freddie
none of that 'happy 21st birthday' shite

Feeling your age?

piiiiisssss ooofffffff

i hate making a fuss.

All right grandma, keep your incontinence pants on.

It's just a party.

you're so funny

I know. It's almost unfair, humour's supposed to be for ugly people.

Anyway, that's it then? You move in, we'll have a party to celebrate your immense age, no banners, all gifts directed to me.

2 exceptions: if the gift is chocolate, i keep it. if the gift is gin, i keep it.

If anyone brings gin as a gift they're turned away at the door.

you and me are gonna wrassle pretty boy

Promises, promises.

stop that, i'm threatening you with bodily harm

I'm taking you up on it.

you're awful

Is that a problem?

you're a problem, i'm shoving a sock in your mouth.

God, I hope 'sock's a typo.

it is most certainly not a typo

For a moment I thought there was something you weren't telling me.

sorry i got your hopes up, alfred.
the only one i've got is plastic.

It could have been what got you thrown out of vagina villas.

Do you.

ok first of all: no

second of all: yes

For you or Petre?

do you want a cuppa and a tissue for what's bothering your nose, nanna?

If I'm going to be overhearing it, just wondering what to picture.

a lot more variety than that, honestly

Is he that bad with his hands?

was he bad with them when you slept with him?

I couldn't kiss and tell.

bullshit

I've had him more than once.

So, no. He wasn't bad with anything.

there's your answer

Alright, no need to defend his honour.

the hands are ok. he's better with his mouth.

Who's better with the giant plastic dildo?

who says it's giant?

Not much point in a small one.

it's average sized and i am

So it's giant in context.

let's not pretend that he hasn't taken bigger

I already said I'd had him.

bet you i was better though

I don't do contests. Everyone's got their pros.

said by someone who definitely knows i out performed him

And definitely isn't humouring you.

freddie no fun

That's me. None at all.

poor sweet freddie
funless freddie

You awake?

might be

Not fucking anybody?

i'm not that good at multitasking

Edited 2016-03-31 03:44 (UTC)

Texting while lying on your back?

[And apparently he was right outside the door because it's opening.]

You're doing it now.

You don't know if I lie on my back during.

[Down goes the phone, stuffed right under her pillow.] What's up?

You don't know about the cameras I've got set up.

[It's said in an eye-rolling tone of voice - as if the electricity works well enough, as if he could be fucked with spying on someone. He can barely keep track of his own bedroom.

But, since he's in hers, it's the bed he makes a beeline for.]

Couldn't sleep. I'm fucked off.

[The quilt is pulled back just for him, which is as close to a welcoming gesture she can make without cracking a joke.]

Don't. I got a camera for my birthday. What's fucked you off?

[He crawls in as though the quilt was a door he expected to be opened in his path, crawling under and flopping back onto the adjacent pillow, staring upwards.]

Fucking Johns. I mean. Figuratively. And literally.

Did fucking a John not go to plan? Because I say, honestly, I've only ever had positive experiences.

[Freddie you entered her bed, which means it's now fine if she scoots over and invades your space. Head on his shoulder, also staring up at the ceiling. ]

[Those are the rules. Fortunately he already had an arm splayed out to the side, which fits neatly under the arch of her back, his fingers curling up against her side.]

No, the fucking part was great. It's everything else going to shit. [A breath deep enough to lift her head.] One of them's gone home. We've got a new toaster, by the way. And a microwave.

[Ah.]

Feeling put out?

I thought I said fucked off?

[He gives her a narrowed, sidelong look.]

I stopped fucking him ages ago. Mostly. It's not like I care he's gone, it's just - he'd been here as long as me.

[In turn, she lets him talk before she shifts and rolls onto her stomach to give him a proper narrow eyed, suspicious look. ]

Freddie just say you'll miss him a bit. [Whatever else that might be bothering him might come easier.]

I hope he's not dead, I suppose.

[A glance across. Will that do? If not, will the distraction of his reaching to brush a ticklish touch across her stomach work as an alternative?]

I hope he doesn't expect me to look after all his stuff. I already gave his cat to the other John.

[She's distracted for maybe a ninth of a minute, hips wriggling to knock his fingers off. She doesn't stop him, though, because even with her stomach being ticklish it's a terrible affectionate gesture that she secretly likes. She does scowl at him with her eyes while her mouth tries very hard to frown and not smile. ]

Could always sell it. Or hold onto it all and pass them off at Christmas.

[Or whatever it was they called Christmas here.

The way Freddie cares about people is odd but it's not subtle, either. Jem doesn't think to push the issue. The scowl drops in favour of a look probably best kept away from Freddie altogether or at the very least, never shown this up close. Cautious, worried, empathetic; she drapes an arm over his middle and sets her chin down on his chest. ]

You're not fucked off about his stuff.

Yeah, but selling it...

[A vague, noncommital wince of an expression completes that thought. Selling it means revisiting it, thinking about it, and more: passing off pieces of someone Freddie actually gave a shit about to people he doesn't.

The likely outcome is that he'll ignore it, leave the place abandoned until the administration clear it. No decision made on his part.

His arm flattens as she lays down, his head tilted down to look at her.]

No. [He doesn't give a shit about his stuff. And his tone remains as studiedly casual as he adds:] He really could be dead. It was that kind of world.

[But even that's not all the reason. And her talking about Christmas is enough to make him share more of it.]

It's this place. See, at home I'd have had him once and forgotten it. Here you just keep... circling back.

[It must seem odd that Jem, who is more accustomed to loss than most, cannot think of a single thing that might be useful here. The harsh truth of it is that people die. The most relevant truth here is that people leave Eudio behind eventually, and with it they leave all the people that have come to give a shit about them.

It must be harder on Freddie, because she thinks he spends so much time trying to keep people at a distance. Safe and out of the way. Convenient. Jem looks up at him with maybe her eyes looking a little bigger given that she's tired, hair not particularly tidy, and wonders if Freddie spends enough time here, might he grow out of this?

She strokes his side in what, at first, might be seen as idle, distracted movements. ] It's okay to say you liked him, too.

[Her smile is small, lips pressed together and the corners pinched. ] Don't know if you noticed, but it's just us here and I'm not gonna start a viral campaign about how Freddie has a heart after all.

Edited 2016-04-06 16:45 (UTC)

I've got a heart.

[He drums his fingers over its approximate location. Of course he has. It's reachable only by some strange and circuitous routes, rather than the usual line up of arteries, but it's there. Even he doesn't pretend that.

It's a small movement to lean forward and tip his forehead against hers.]

And he was all right, I suppose. Despite the bloody poetry. [Laying back again, it's a moment before he adds-] The other one's all right, too. So. Waiting for that to explode.

Edited 2016-04-07 04:41 (UTC)

Poetry. You were fucking a romantic.

[Is she joking? It's hard to tell in the dark, with half her grin obscured by shadows. This is seemingly the most positive part of all he's just said, because while her grin lasts, it does shrink in size as she considers all the ways he might self-sabotage himself.

Jem's an expert at it at this point, so. It's a fairly colourful list.]

- It'll explode if you expect it to, Freddie. [so, maybe ... don't. ]

He literally studied romance. At Oxford.

[Yeah, Freddie has no idea how that happened either, except that he wore a suit well and had a soft underbelly beneath it, put up admirably with demands but wouldn't be walked over.

It's a rare combination that can hold Freddie's attention even half as long as John Buchanan did.

The other John, funnily enough, has matched him. And they hadn't even been fucking.]

And you know that's not true. It's when you stop expecting it. [He has his own expertise on this front.]

Anyway, other John's a grumpy old fuck but he's over here quite a bit, when he's speaking to me. You'll probably meet him. So I'm just telling you, in advance, don't say anything.

You're very superstitious. [But he is right, that is how it tends to go. Comfort leads to heartache and all that other good stuff. ]

And what am I not meant to be saying? 'Freddie talked about you once. He tries to act cool about it, so that probably means he likes you a lot and respects your general opinions'?

[There's a snort of laughter, Freddie shifting to retrieve his phone from his where it's tucked into the waistband of his boxers.]

He doesn't have opinions. He has niggles, irritations and things he's grumpy about.

[As for what she shouldn't say. Maybe it's obvious when he brings a photo up and the man on the screen is not - like 99 percent of the people Freddie brings back to the flat - hip and lithe and on roughly the same rung of the young and beautiful ladder that he occupies.

It's a man who must be comfortably occupying his forties by now and doesn't look especially young for it (though not old for it, either. Middle age spreading the usual places. Hair starting to fade. Wearing a sweatervest.

Freddie's already gritting his teeth for the response.]

Edited 2016-04-08 04:22 (UTC)

[He's so - so average looking. In fact, he looks a little like - ] My dad. He looks a bit like my dad.

[She's. Not exactly laughing, but she almost is. It's coming, threatening to burst through the grin she directs up at him. ] Freddie, is there something you want to talk about?

[Oh god.

Oh god, the thing is, he does. Jem's shown him a picture of her dad, when she came back. He does. Nothing like Freddie's - with his mop of blond hair and ridiculous moustache that his son couldn't hope to emulate. But he looks. He looks a bit like...

Horror dawns slowly over Freddie's face.]

....Fuck off.

[The phone's snatched back.]

Jesus.

[That's it, he's rolling her off him and vanishing under the covers, crawling down the bed as if to make an escape at the opposite end.]

[The laughter is immediate and loud as she scrabbles to pin him down over the covers, all wild, flailing limbs to trap him. ]

Oh no you don't! Get up here, Freddie!

[She goes for the body flop method of flinging her entire body ontop of him to hold him down. A good plan, except where he might suffocate. ]

[Fucking hell she's part spider, there are limbs everywhere. He squirms under the blanket until he's on his back, arms rising through the sheets to hold her down.]

I fucked your fucking dad. [Muffled through eiderdown.] Just smother me.

Well, never say that sentence again because that's horrifying.

[But she's still laughing herself to death. This is is incredible and incredible terrible. She shimmies enough to drag the covers down from his face and she beams, like she's won the lottery. Truly this is horrible, but it's hilarious.

She cannot even believe. ] He's wearing a sweater vest, Freddie!

Well I took that off first.

[He wasn't wearing one. Technicalities. Here, Jem, have the world's loudest groan. Meanwhile Freddie will be closing his eyes as his last defence.]

Against a wall. In an alley. After I pissed him off enough to make him threaten to snap my spine. [No wait, that wasn't the loudest groan. This one is.] I'd do it again.

[It gets better. She flattens out against hi, chin resting somewhere between his chest and stomach, and she tries very hard to stop laughing. ]

Very romantic. Had no idea you liked it rough. [She sort of guessed, but. ] So I mean, how long have you fancied my dad, Freddie?

[Why must you be so gross, Jemima.]

I don't like it rough, I just like it. [Truth be told the vanilla fucks outnumber anything else ten to one. Getting kinky with strangers is something idiots do - like Dean - and Freddie rarely fucks friends.

Rarely. Sigh.]

And I don't fancy him. I've known him months. Thought he was straight, or at least saving himself for the day his best friend finally decides the one thing he hasn't thoroughly investigated is John's arse. We'd never...

[Freddie had offered to, before. When John was somewhere dark and he hadn't known how else to fix him. But he'd been turned down.]

He doesn't fuck anyone.

Well, he fucked you.

[There must be a limit everyone has before they eventually succumb to Freddie Baxters unique charm. Jem's known him nearly a year, though, and all she's done is kissed him. And moved in with him. It's all a bit backwards.

Jem's not one to drag a joke out too long, though. After all, why run it to its death now when she can bring it up later at an opportune moment?

So: ] Worried it might get weird, if you do him again?

Yeah but, mostly because it was that or kill me.

[Though theres still a trace of a victor's smile tugging the corners of Freddie's mouth as he says it. That gets coupled with a wince.]

It already is weird. He spent half a week avoiding me then got me a birthday present. [Managing to extract a hand from the duvet, he rubs it across his face.]

See, this is the problem with fucking people you know. Because, once you've done it, it's always there. You're talking about, I don't know, quadratic equations, and the possibility you could just shut up and fuck again's sitting there, waiting to be noticed. And then it becomes this regular... thing. It's weird.

I think you're building it up too much in your head.

[This is rich, coming from a girl who over thinks every aspect of her life to the point of self sabotage. But she's also the best person to recognize it, too. Jem knows what it's like to fall for people too easily. Gary, who she had looked up to since she'd been fourteen and who had then made her feel worthwhile. He'd built her up, taken the time to be with her and she'd fallen for it (and him) hook, line, sinker. Cole, who had been dangerous and vulnerable and lovely - who she'd fucked three times, two with Petre there - and who she'd loved so much that thinking of him now makes her chest hurt. He hadn't loved her back, not the way she wanted him to. Petre who is, at his core, evil and ultimately probably terrible for her in the long run. But who is also compassionate, who gives her the attention and the time she needs; who listens and who understands all her worst qualities and enjoys them. She loves Petre enough to do things which, a year ago, would have been utterly unthinkable.

She doesn't know what it's like to fuck casually like Freddie. There's Raven, who is still a dear friend. Who she'd sleep with again and know that it wouldn't be a thing. But it could be if it happened enough times. They're both damaged enough and crave love enough for it.

She watches Freddie very carefully in between that last sentence and the next. ] I don't mean that you're wrong, though. Just that you're thinking about it too much. If we fucked, for example, right now - and if we fucked again, a week later and maybe a few times after that, are you worried one of us would get a dose of the feelings?

[No, Jem. He'd be worried that the feelings already there change in ways that made things uncomfortable. It's much the same worry with John. There aren't many instances in his life where feelings come before sex. There aren't many where names come before it.]

Well, you know when one person gets a dose of anything it spreads like wildfire. That's what they say at the clinic.

[Shifting, he throws the loose side of the duvet over her and rolls her in it, until she's a burrito and he's - loosely - pinning her down.]

How did it happen with Petre, then?

[She accepts her fate as a butrrito with no fuss. Perhaps this was her plan all along, to be the cosiest of them all. ]

He tried for months to bone everyone in my old flat, actually. He's not a quitter.

[It had been very, very new for her. It still is in a lot of ways. ] But we were just mates, for a while. First time we did anything I was so hungover I nearly cried at his doorstep. It was really attractive, honestly.

Edited 2016-04-21 18:54 (UTC)

[She's a fiend. Though he makes a sympathetically pained face at the mention of the hangover.]

Rumtila?

[Never 4get.]

So you were just mates, and then you started fucking and now you're planning to elope. [This isn't helping disprove his point, tbh.]

Rumtila. [Even now, her stomach's turning.

It's a nice memory, that horrendous walk to Petre's old flat while desperately wanting to lie on the pavement and die. Jem shrugs as much as she can inside her burrito. ] Oh, he'll never marry me. He might melt at the altar. My point is that that wasn't a guaranteed thing. Petre's fucking a million people and he's not in love with them!

Yeah yeah, you're one in a million. You can stop selling yourself, I bought in ages ago.

[He ducks away, stretching out on the bed with his elbows on the pillow.]

It happens though, and it happens the other way round - a few fucks then disaster - way more often.

[She doesn't unwrap herself, but she moves and wiggles until she's on her side with her elbow propped up and her cheek in her hand. She watches Freddie for a long moment, quiet and contemplative. Theoretically, she gets this. Caring for people is a terrifying prospect, especially when people you have cared about end up being objectively shit.

But Freddie talks himself round and round, talks in honesty and then back pedals enough to make you forget he was honest about he feels at all. She huffs out a sigh, deflating a little. She's lost the thread of where he's trying to get with this, of what he's trying to say. ]

Your a big boy Freddie, falling for somebody isn't going to kill you here.

Fucks sake, I haven't "fallen for someone" in ten years. [Not entirely true but close enough to count.] That's not the thing that - [SIGH]

Forget it. Just try not to call him daddy if he comes round.

Freddie. I'm trying to listen.

[Her face, even concerned, probably looks ridiculous when there's quilt up to her chin.]

[Well. There's no other option here but to reach across and boop her nose.]

I've finished talking.

[It's in her very nature to argue that, but she doesn't. Instead she wiggles and frees the quilt, heavy and warm, and tosses it over him too. It doesn't matter if they're a little topsy-turvey, the pillows at the other end and the sheets below them messed up.

It's comfortable. She likes this. ]

So we're in quiet time now?

Time out.

[He crosses one finger across the top of another to make a T before lazily reaching across to pull her closer and shuffle in, himself. Quiet time. It stretches almost 20 seconds.]

...So, is your dad single?

Happily married.

[Give or take a few family tragedies. ]

And I wouldn't take mum on, she got handy with a chainsaw.

Must run in the family. Along with your great taste in fancying me.

[Well technically, that would be lookalikes of her family. Close enough, and also probably genetic.]

God, aren't you full of yourself.

[If Kieren could hear him now, he'd be getting pelters for his ego, really. Jem owes it to them both to do it in his absence. ]

Only when I'm not full of someone else.

[Look, what is he supposed to do with that set up. At least he stops short of adding like your dad.]

[MAY, some time following this exchange, some time in the middle of the night, she rolls over in bed and picks up the phone. feelings are bubbling up to the surface and she needs someone to talk to, and since she can't talk about this to Bellamy, she texts her other closest friend in the city, the one person who knows about this part officially:]

hi
i decided
i'm expunging my feelings for certain unnamed wieners asap
bc i'm awesome and i deserve people who can't WAIT to make out with me
not people who're scared to because they wanna leave

wow he's more of a weenie than first anticipated

dammit i half wanna defend him over this

do you wanna come over and spoon my cat?

well i've little spooned gruff just about as much as he can take it so yeah maybe

you know the way to freddie's warehouse in the dark?

practically with my eyes closed even
we're kinda neighbours

raven reyes you did not even utter a word of this

i figured you'd realize that we live pretty close now, dumdum

so much sass so late at night, good grief

you're right
this isn't gonna get me a hug from lady die at all :(

get your bum over here

thank you, jem

[is the last thing she sends, before taking her ass over there. where freddie lives, which she knows the road to, of course, even at night. the trek's neither long nor difficult, and raven just wants a hug and some understanding.

which is a new thing, it is, because she's gotten so used to getting over these bitter pills on her own she has forgotten there are other ways, other options.

she's not gonna wake up anyone, so when she gets there she sends another text,]

come open

[the door is probably not locked, but Jem creeps down the hall quietly to open the door anyway. she does so, ushering Raven inside with a smile and no welcoming lights at all in the warehouse.]

I think Freddie's in his room. Hard to tell. C'mon.

[It's so illicit, she wants to joke, but doesn't. No energy to joke, in the end. She follows Jem inside quietly, and lets her guide her to her room, whispering only one observation,] I've always liked this place.

[~~There was some sex in this place so.~~]

He's got a toaster now. Vast improvement.

[Jem's room is a bit of a mess. She's part way through organizing Ilde's left over stuff (clothes) and Petre's left over stuff (sex toys). But that's all in a designated corner. Lady lies at the bottom of Jem's bed, her head lifting as the door opens, curious as ever. ]

Really moving up in the world.

[She goes for her designated corner, which tonight is going to be Jem's bed. Shoes come off, cover gets pulled up, and by the time she has lied down on her side, Lady's come to sniff her out.]

You're too big for your usual sleeping place, girl.

She still thinks she can climb onto my head, Raven. [said as she plonks down beside her.] I've got a feeling your
tits are fair game.

[And she might be right, but Raven pulls herself on her side and lies down facing Jem instead, one arm tucked under her head. No cleavage to sleep on like this.]

So...hi.

Hi. [amused, somewhat, as Diana whimpers before circling around them both, trying to find a spot to settle. Jem pays her no mind, except when she's in close enough distance to scratch behind an ear. ] So, you've got a hot dog problem, huh?

[That definition pulls a laugh out of her, brittle and short. Does she have a problem? Maybe, but maybe it's her own doing, for seeing something...

No, it seems, as much as he says he's not like Finn, he hesitates too. Maybe it's not fair to test him by the same failures, but what else has she got? Does he think he's the only one who will, would, leave this place?

She shrugs it off.]

I put my hopes on the wrong person, I suppose. Didn't feel that way when I was starting but I was wrong.

Didn't peg as having commitment issues, but there we go.

[damn Bellamy back at it again.]

He's stupid, obviously. All those muscles must be cutting the circulation off to his head.

[She looks down, feels guilty over this; this part, she's never done. Not even when Finn cheated on her, she didn't gossip about him. (No, she jumped in bed with Bellamy, but that didn't help, and god she refuses to feel that horrible again.)] He wants to leave.

I get it, everyone here wants to leave at one point. I'm starting to think like maybe I'm the selfish asshole, wanting to just stay, with my dragon and my healthy leg.

I don't think that's selfish.

[it's not, really. Jem hadn't wanted to leave either, just a short time ago. she tucks a hand under her head, and purses her lips. ] You're allowed to be happy and safe, Raven. Fuck anybody who makes you feel selfish for wanting that.

They don't really do it on purpose. [Nobody has called her out specifically for wanting to stay, and to say that Bellamy judges her for it would be a lie, she knows. He's never brought that up as a flaw of her, it's just that she has years of guilt backing her up.]

Mostly I guilt myself over this.

Well, stop that. [Said lightly. Jem knows it's not that easy; she's spent months overcoming her own guilt and reconciling with the desire to not want to go home herself. Her own happiness does not feel deserved; Raven's similar feelings are a particularly poignant sting in her chest. ]

It's not easy, convincing yourself you're not doing anything wrong. But you have to keep focusing on knowing that you're allowed to do whatever you want.

[She looks at Jem for a moment, instead of the cat between them, and bites her lower lip with the permeating feeling of vulnerability in her chest. There's a pang there, between the whole of not really enough, is it? and i just want to be loved.

Blindly, she reaches out and grabs a hold of Jem's hand, gingerly.]

I haven't done this before in my life, you know? Had someone to just talk to, after heartbreak. [Nope, last time she just screwed someone's brains out after her heartbreak, and look who that is.]

[A dangerous moment passes where she thinks about Lisa and the crushes they'd had early on im the HVF. Neither of them had experienced real heartbreak and Jem never got the chance to talk about her first, with Lisa. Kieren had been altogether a different sort.

She pushes that away, though. ] Well, you've got me now. And I'm always up for talking about idiot boys and why they're stupid. [A wry smile. It's hard to imagine the situations which have shaped Raven. Overall, Jem thinks she's pretty incredible for having come from where she's come from.]

In general, or like specific reasons? [It's a sad attempt at a joke, but she's trying at least? She shouldn't, though - because it was her who said they'd go back to being friends, it was her who said she'd get over it. Maybe not to him, specifically, but to herself.

To bitch and moan about it now wouldn't be fair, because it's not like he broke her heart.]

I have a terrible track record, maybe I should stop considering guys.

Maybe guys with commitment and emotional issues.

[A beat.] Girls are just as bad. I mean, look at me. I'm a mess.

Can't be, you're a delight. [Friendship!]

[She squeezes Jem's hand, affectionate. Grateful.] Your flaw is terrible taste in men, and an inferior pony tail.

S'pose we've got them in common, then.

[No jumping to Petre's defence here. Even Jem, who is habitually blinded to the worst in people she dates, knows Petre is filled to the brim with flaws. And, really, he was rude to Raven. ]

Maybe it'd be nice to just stick to the people you get on with, for a while? Freddie's been acting a bit weird lately, but we'd keep you going in spooning and that.

[It's easier to put herself aside and try and fix other things, other people's issues. Besides, Freddie is Freddie, and she likes him - she does like him. (He's her other example of sex and friendship mixing just fine without the need for relationships.)]

What's up with him?

Dunno. Mid life crisis? Trouble in the fuck buddy land?

[If Jem actually knows, well, she's keeping mum. Perhaps out of a sense of solidarity. Low key, though, she's worried about him. ]

He'll talk when he wants to. Or get over it. He'd probably not mind if you full body speared him, though, just saying.

[Lowkey, Raven gets worried about Freddie too, because it's easier than focusing on herself. Of course, if Jem's quick enough, she'll notice and pull her right back into the subject at hand, but until then...]

Trouble in fuck buddy land? What, did he go and get feelings? Because that'd be rich. [Right? Fuck buddy land wasn't troublesome when Raven was there.]

I think he's got a lot of feelings about a lot of people. But I mean - I think there was something? He can be brutally honest or vague.

[But he bounces back, doesn't he? Like Raven, he bounces back. ] He'll be okay. Just needs a little blow job action and he'll be right as rain.

[Build a brace for your feelings and move along, right? That's Raven, great at bouncing back even with injuries. She lets out a quiet laugh.]

Can't say I'm going to immediately volunteer there.

You're too good to be a rebound blowjob, Raven. [not a sentence she'd ever thought she'd have to say. ] I just meant, he'd probably be less of a mess to cuddle if he got one from someone.

Hi Jem. Belated welcome back. Can you do me a favour and let me know the next time Freddie's out? I need to smuggle goods into the squat.

define 'goods'.

(ta)

New speakers. Space heater - I'm assuming you're all losing bits from frostbite over there.

Anything you're low on? Milk, bread, cleaning fluids with passive aggressive post-it notes from someone who doesn't need to worry about getting shit from their flatmates?

strawberry jam
bleach
pair of marigolds for freddie's dainty little hands :)

can you bring two space heaters? freddie's been fucking off to a mansion for 2 months and this place could use the extra boost.

Strawberry jam, bleach, marigolds and two space heaters it is.

Seeds or seedless?

seeds, maybe freddie will be too disgusted to steal it

Clever. I'll get you both, hide the seedless in a bag of raisins. Nobody eats those.

d'you like raisins john? because my dad, bless his heart, loves a good raisin.

Do you want this jam or not?

sorry dad

And to think I was going to pick you up some chocolate.

i like caramel shortbread best

That's nice for you.

mhm

so. john. you and freddie seem

cosy.

We do, do we?

be honest
is freddie going to be my step-dad, because i have to be honest with you, that might get a little weird

Fuck off Jem

We're doing alright.

good.
i know he can be hard work sometimes, but he seems as happy as an obtuse arsehole can be so. good. i'm happy for you.

[ it's— different. Jem bringing it up. he's talked to Claire, that was a somewhat transformative experience in and of itself, but having to spell it out compared to having someone mention it for themselves, Freddie's best friend no less...

he seems as happy as an obtuse arsehole can be so. ]

Thanks.

[ fuck off, jem. he did not come prepared for this.

time to move swiftly on at a rough diagonal. ]

You should advertise twofer. Drop in for a favour, get my blessing free of charge.

i'm angling for some caramel shortbread, as i'm sure you'll understand :)

*for the low low price of some caramel shortbread

I'll see what I can do.

ta dad

If you keep it up I'll ground you

i live with freddie and a pirate, that's not gonna stick

Option one: behave.
Option two: I start living up to the rep with terrible jokes.

hahahahahahah, provide joke example

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

bless your heart

They'll get worse. Don't test me on this

nothing quite like dad jokes to give you the fear

[ Just a photo. Some wintery wildflowers on someone's otherwise unremarkable kitchen table.]

What am I supposed to do with these?

[Just a photo. Also a cry for help.]

give them to your nan?

I got them from my nan.

what's your nan doing here? good grief.

Jem. Fucks sake, this is important.

John left them this morning.

ah okay i see the problem now

Yeah.

I think he wrote me poetry.

you're not serious

I don't know.

I don't know.

All this stuff about how I look like the sun.

he is getting on a bit so his eyesights probably going

you okay?

I'm in the garden.

[Johns garden, as the warehouse only has a roof. So he's stayed. Sort of. For now.]

hmmmmm

you could put them in our kitchen. the flowers.

They're in a vase.

He had a vase, somewhere, in one of his cupboards. Who knew. Maybe they're just decorative? Maybe he's suddenly thinking about becoming a florist. He decided to be a security guard a few weeks ago, I think it's some kind of crisis.

Fucking hell, I never should have agreed.

agreed to what?? a little romance?

also a security guard of what?? a sweet shop?

He was in the army, you know.

And yeah, I suppose. He wanted to know if we - him and me - if we were like. A Thing.

he asked you to be his boyfriend and you're freaking out over flowers?

Well he didn't say it as a poem.

but he is your boyfriend

Edited 2016-12-16 23:23 (UTC)

We've got a thing.

stop being a dickhead

Nobody's said boyfriend. He said thing. So if anyone started the thing thing, it's him.

Anyway, it isn't as though I've never had boyfriends before. And girlfriends. It wouldn't be some sort of big deal.

shocking actually.

the flowers are nice. he's probably not expecting anything romantic in return. but if you're keen on being a good boyfriend you could always buy him a pack of werther's originals.

Why do I even bother.

I'd delete your number if we didn't live in the same house.

to be fair you should've actually told me what you wanted out of me here freddie, mind reading isn't one of my incentives

Can't you just be useful? I know it's a stretch.

Do I just leave them there? Sitting on the table like a great big bloody valentine? Next thing you know we'll be saving sex for special occasions and buying boxed sets of DVDs. I could come back to the flat for a while. How long do flowers take to die?

well if you come back to the flat i'm going to kill you for calling me useless

for fuck sake, just put them in the kitchen like a normal person

Bigger avoidance strategy than I'd planned for, but it's an option I suppose.

They're in the kitchen. That's where they started.

Fuck it, I'm going for a walk.

Just in case you're thinking of getting mop-happy round the squat, don't. I've been decorating.

don't you think they'd look better in your room

Christmas is a time to share.

yeah useful things

Literally nothing about christmas is supposed to be useful, Jem. Not unless you're that bloke who buys his wife an iron.

how'd you know that's what i got you???

I know you like me to keep myself pretty.

no, i like you to keep the house pretty

could use some advice from you though, actually

Go on?

what kind of fruit basket do you think john would like for christmas????

Fuck off.

What kind would you get your dad?

probably just some chocolate raisins and some dvds.
john looks like a fruit basket kind of granda though

Have you just upgraded him to grandad? How about some prunes. Or York Fruits.

He's staying over Christmas Eve. Don't know if you're planning to be here or the masion but, if you and Kier want to come over, I can probably teach him some Lancashire vowels.

he threatened to ground me for calling him dad

not sure yet. petre hates christmas, but he does get put out if i don't put him first on holidays he hates. i might just bring him over too and leave him in my room with a bottle of vodka and a ball of wool. i'll bring kier though :)

This is sounding kinkier all the time.

Suppose I should say hello to him, first.

ahahahahah

just pop your head round the door and then leave him be tbh

Not Petre, Kieren.

I haven't, since he got back.

bloody hell

It's not like he'll know to care.

tell him about the lad you shagged back home who looks exactly like him, break the ice immediately

Could do. He's slow enough we could probably catch him while he's running for the hills.

he waddles now

Really? What have you been feeding him?

Guess who's having an ugly-sweater, pantless Christmas-combo-Birthday bash.
Gwen Stacy and Kate Bishop, of course!

Your attendance is humbly requested ♥

i'll try to make it after this other party at a farm i'm going to

whaaaaat
a farm????

do they have pantless attire because if not, ours is superior.

[ Everyone in the mansion is getting a $25 gift card to Gladrags, the vintage shop where Lana works, tucked inside a greeting card. ]

[Good morning, Santa's been! Please enjoy waking up snuggled against the body pillow that's been smuggled into the bed during the night.

There are also some chocolates - three boxes stacked on the bedside table, containing assorted alcoholic centres.]

i love you

Edited 2016-12-27 01:34 (UTC)

i hope some of these chocolates are mint because i have hangover breath

Freddie Baxter is taking a screencap.

Might help with the hangover, but not like that. I've got toothpaste I can squeeze into some nutella if you're desperate.

don't screencap my shame you utter cretin

could you bring me some mouth wash and a bowl actually

Seriously? Can't you just swallow it.

swallowing it's bad for you

That's one I haven't heard before.

Jesus.

[Hear a door slamming and feet padding into the bathroom, then towards her door, which opens.]

I'm just going to dump this and leave. I haven't had my morning shag yet, you'll put me right out of the mood.

Edited 2016-12-27 02:25 (UTC)

[there are three lumps in the bed: jem, her new favourite pillow and somewhere, buried under the covers, is petre. jem hangs loosely near the edge of the bed, covers all kicked off and looking vaguely grey, though also vaguely happy. ]

Didn't think anything could put you off shagging.

The wrong kind of bodily fluids, apparently.

[Freddie gingerly approaches the bed, bowl held out. He's managed pants for this excursion from the bedroom but that's all.] That bad?

Can still sort of taste last nights dinner and I feel like I probably smell like gin.

[from a distance, close up: the kind of hangover that requires a sweat room and then six bath bombs. ] But the actual hangover hasn't hit yet, so.

So lunch is going to be fun.

[Here, take your sick bucket, woman. Freddie gets close enough to examine her condition for himself.]

...I can run you a shower if you like. I've got five minutes.

[small grabby hands as she takes it and then, head lolling somewhere on the mattress,] Wouldn't dream of keeping you from your morning shag. [#stilldrunk]

Yeah well, he's making himself beautiful, first.

[ie: John's wandered into the bathroom, probably for a piss, and doesn't yet know Freddie's awake or making plans.]

Could take a while.

Mmm. Has to carefully trim his nose hairs. Or somethin'.

[there is a lot of twisting on Jem's part as she seeks out parts of the bed that are especially cold: a grunt comes from somewhere under the covers, which probably means she just heeled petre in the groin, but it's christmas. who cares. ]

You look horrifically and unfairly fine.

I'm always unfairly fine.

[He puts a hand out, waiting for Jem to finish wriggling before testing the heat of her sweaty forehead. The third lump in the bed gets a mildly concerned glance when it doesn't stir after being kicked.]

He's not dead, is he?

Course he's not dead, he's immortal.

[a suspicously quiet immortal, but nontheless. ] And I've got a hangover coming, not the flu.

So Freddie sent me some nudes of your brother.

he what now

Did you know he's had nudes of your brother for like, two years. This is a rhetorical question because he flipped out when I said I'd texted you so I know he's been waiting for you to slip into a coma so he could say something about it. He was all you mustn't tell her, but like, I literally could not not tell you.

okay but when you say nudes

Well, like, video.

my brother doesn't do nudes, gwen

Freddie was very clear

excuse me a minute

Are you going to do something to Freddie

of course not

nothing life threatening anyway

Not the face, Jem, we like looking at the face.

Not the bum either.

( on that note. )

his bum isn't that impressive

The face though.

i'm not responsible for where any pillows might hit

That's fair.

too fair, really

So is a guy allowed to take his sister out for her birthday?

You know, when she's still younger and older than him.

is he paying? :D

Yeah, of course. Nothing too fancy-- I uh, still don't have a job yet.

so, tea then?

I can afford a bit more than that. My--someone I know is going to help me set up a website, to sell some of my art? He thinks it's good enough for that, at least.

your 'someone you know' eh

that's really cool though kier!!!

It's complicated? I mean, he might just be nice to everyone, and not like me like that. It's hard to tell. But yeah, I think it would be cool? People here do seem to like my art a lot.

i'll ask him for you, who is it?

well, they should like it. it's amazing kier, how many times do i have to tell you?

His name is Caleb Smith? And maybe--don't? I mean, he might just...freak out. I don't know. But he's been good about me being undead.

Well you have to say that, you're my sister.

how do i know if he's good enough for you if i don't ask him?
:)

Could you just...talk to him? Like not...get into relationship stuff? Since, you know, we're not together.

sounds dead boring, but okay

Hey I'm dead boring, it's more alive boring, since Caleb is alive.

You can just be terrifying, Jem, when you want to be.

who me???? never!

Oh yes, and dad isn't incredibly boring.

you mean you DON'T think a matrix trilogy marathon is the best to spend a friday night? he'll be gutted

All that money spent on new dvds, and really we needed a new computer.

i kept telling him to at least buy a playstation or something, so we could use the telly instead of the computer. he kept saying 'jemima, if we do that we'll never catch deal or no deal.'

there's no helping him, kier

I still can't believe he bought that Simon thought his jeans were cool. ...but then again, Simon wears the ugliest jumpers, so perhaps I shouldn't be so shocked.

Look--if you want to say something to Caleb, I'm not going to stop you. It's okay.

i don't know how to tell you this, kier, but simon's trousers weren't exactly that unlike dads

i'll cyber stalk him a little first. like all good sisters do in this brave, modern age of speedy internet and instgram.

They weren't that bad.

I still don't understand this instagram thing of yours.

it's like having a blog, except you put a picture

So like myspace?

worse

Yeah I don't know if it is the place for me.

loads of people use to show pictures of their day. like where they are, what they're doing. for a while, mine was just pictures of my cat.

Well maybe I can use it to share pictures of my art, or something?

yeah, that would be awesome :)!

Will you help me set it up, then?

yeah, of course i will.

Excellent. But after we go out for your dinner. Or lunch--or breakfast. Whatever meal you want to eat.

What's your favourite pizza topping?

them mini meatballs

why

I'm over tonight, we're getting pizza. So meat feat or meatball exclusive?

meat feast absolutely :D
is this a thing
should i be heading to the off license for a quick bottle of red?

Depends how much you think we'll need. I've got a couple of bottles and some chocolate.

[ or, he hasn't yet. but he will have. ]

you're really pulling out all the stops tonight, dad.

[wait]

did you do something?

Wow, is that what you think of me? You'll be lucky if you get a slice.

[ actually, he's just heard about Petre, but who really needs to bring up things like that: not he. ]

well you're bringing wine and chocolate, i was just wondering if i need to wear a fancy frock because freddie's about to become the future mrs. watson

[the reality is actually much sweeter, oh no]

Jesus Christ

no fancy frock then?

No

Just make sure you're in at Gwen's around tea time if you want to eat

i might wear one anyway

Do what you like

[ JUST LEAVE THIS CONVERSATION IN ITS BOX wow this has been wild ]

gwen'll have plenty of wine, by the way. we're all functioning alcoholics at this point.

That's one less thing to carry. Thanks for the heads up

love u dad @:)

🖕
👍

*feast

Hey can I come over? I have a surprise.

sure :)
mind the dog when you get here, she's very excitable.

Got it.

[Kieren heads over, nervous but excited. Why?

Because when Jem opens the door, Kieren will be standing there, warm blooded.]

[There is, as promised, excited barking from behind the door. Jem's new dog is still only a puppy, really, despite how big she's gotten. There's the muffled chorus of Jem shooshing her newly acquired daughter and then the scraping of doggie paws across the floor as Jem pushes by her to open the door.

Just over a year ago, Jem was startled awake by a series of missed calls. It had been early in the morning, and she'd missed the first few, but eventually it had been Kieren on the other end, panicked. They hadn't had an explaination for his sudden full-body return to humanity, but they'd got on with it. So, when Jem opens the door and sees brown eyes and pink cheeks, and the real, bushy ginger mounts Kieren's called eyebrows for years -- she's shocked, sure, but not the kind of shocked Kieren is probably expecting. From the outside looking in, though, it looks the same.

She hadn't wanted to tell him about this, because it might have been a one off.

It wasn't. (It might be. He might have wished for this.)

She exhales heavily, and, misty-eyed and relieved, she breathes out:] Oh, Kier, [and pulls him in for a tight hug, dog barking at her backside.]

[Kieren has been human--or at least...alive again for a few days. He didn't want to tell Jem until he was sure it was going to stick, until he was sure he wasn't going to turn back, or die somehow, as if that was somehow the final stage of all of this. But it hasn't been--and he's hopeful he's in the clear, now.

Everything feels new, again, including the warmth and tightness of Jem hugging him, the smell of her surrounding him. He doesn't hesitate to hug back, his fingers sliding around to grip at her, breathing in deeply. He missed this.]

I don't know how this happened--or what happened, even. But I'm--I can feel everything, again.

It's -- It's -- [She doesn't know. There hadn't been an explanation last time either, that she can recall. ] A miracle.

[Maybe it is. Maybe, despite both their disbelief in higher powers, maybe it is a miracle. Who's to say? This is a city that grants wishes, after all. She squeezes and squeezes him until she has to let go, pulling back to take in the details. The brown eyes, the flush on his cheeks -- the actual, real warmth radiating from him. ]

Are -- are you okay with this?

[Kieren isn't sure if it's a miracle. They don't believe in that stuff...yeah. But everything that has to do with what has happened to him, to his friends, has been so strange--who is to say what is truly happening?

Even when they pull back, he keeps ahold of one of her hands, not wanting to let go of that feeling...of warmth on his skin.]

I don't--I think so.

[He gives a tight smile, and it's an honest one--because he isn't sure.]

It's a lot to take in, you know? I am happy it means I won't ever be a risk to anyone else, though.

[Above all else, that's the one thing he's grateful for. The rest is a lot more complicated.]

Kier.

[A hand squeezes his arm, firm and serious. ] You're not a risk to anyone. You weren't.

Without medication? With wackos being able to lace things with blue oblivion? I could be.

[He squeezes her hand back.]

But that is all better; it means that others are going to get better too. It--it means a way out. For everyone.

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