( it takes a while and it almost feels like he's not going to answer when he finally does )the vampire shit-- it's not-- it isn't some horny romance novel bullshit i have under control
( he wants to believe her, does honestly, but he wouldn't blame her if she did in the end. if this is the line, if this is where it's crossed. shared fantasies are one thing, this is something wholly different.
either way eddie doesn't answer as he makes his way back at the boarding house, to their room. he's in a different shirt than the day before and he's clearly still on the way to the land of the undead even though he's fed and fucked the night before. the panic, paranoia and self-loathing don't help.
he leans against the closed door. ) I wouldn't blame you if you did though. For this.
[she's been chewing her thumb a little. torn the skin close to the nail, right till it stings. it keeps her grounded right up until Eddie slips in, closes the door behind him.
she's on him in a second, hands on his face, thumbs over his cheeks. ] Hey, no. None of that.
( he takes her hand, the one that smells like blood. brings it to his mouth, where his fangs are already coated in venom. and he tries to be gentle, oh so gentle, to press his tooth near the wound so the venom drops and clothes it instead of breaking in further.
it’s a new trick, one he learned with danny. he kisses her palm, lets her hand go.
the question is easier from jem than it is from hopper. but they both asked and eddie wonders what that means, doesn’t linger too long. ) I need to tell you…
I don’t want to but I need to. I need you here with me. (i need you. )
[She walks them back. One baby step at a time, until her legs hit one of the beds. She turns his hand, presses a kiss against his knuckles. Sits down, pulls him down with her. ] I’ll stay right here. What do you need to tell me?
( he does down easy with her. at least right now, when there are no games being played between them and it’s just them.
he moves her closer, hand on her hips until jem’s in his lap and he can wrap his arms around her and hide against the crook of her neck. she shouldn’t trust him like this, with her the best thing he’s tasted if he doesn’t compare— )
I liked it. ( he whispers between them, tense and terrified. it’s out now, he can’t take it back. ) Her blood tasted so good at the end.
[Her arms go tight around him. She holds him there, face tucked into her shoulder, the crook of her neck.
I liked it.
Her fingers wrap themselves up in his hair. The admission sits between them, occupying the quiet It stays against her neck, close to her throat. She’s stroking his hair, she’s got a palm flat against his back.
I liked it.
Do you think this place makes us worse — ] Tell me about it.
( he feels like a monster and yet he feels safe, tucked against jem’s frame like this. like it’s fine. like the moment won’t shatter and she won’t want him so close to her arteries anymore.
except she doesn’t push him back, only pulls him tight. eddie can’t quite place the last time he was held like this, as if someone meant to protect him from the world. he lets out a breath, bits into his lower lip and licks away the blood. ) I just meant to wake her up. Tried to trick the curse or whatever…
But it’s like there was something in her blood. Like fucking heroine but other, I knew as soon as I bit down. ( as if it’ll make it better. he holds jem like a life-line. ) She wasn’t struggling at all until the end, until the panic and pain really kicked in but she was as weak as a kitten, mewling so soft, and tasted so good and I—- I couldn’t stop. She tasted so fucking good until—- And then she was gone.
And I— ( he cuts himself off, shakes his head. he’d been so goddamn disappointed he couldn’t have more. ) Fuck. I’m so sorry.
[It doesn’t feel like she can say anything particularly helpful, or soothing, or even really rational. Eddie just feels like he always does when she holds him, or when she’s being held.
He feels safe, even as he describes the death of another human being. Maybe there is something here, something that makes them worse. Something that makes them stupid. ]
I don’t know what makes blood taste better or worse, really. But - probably, the adrenaline. Serotonin. Oxytocin. It makes sense.
[Maybe you get closer to a soul in that final drain. ]
Did - did you just like the blood? Or was it the killing. Because those are two different things, Eddie.
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please?
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what's going on?
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i fucked up
i shouldn't be around anyone right now
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1/2
jem...
2/2
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i don't even really know--
but-- there was a knife made of blood
and before i knew it
fuck
i was so goddamn hungry ( cue progressive panic and nausea he's just projecting out )
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you're okay. you're going to be okay. they'll be okay too - death doesn't last here, remember? you're - you're fine. it was an accident, wasn't it?
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they're goddamn walking already.
i did that shit and they're fine and i didn't mean to but--- it's not. it's not fucking fine. that's only half the problem.
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either way eddie doesn't answer as he makes his way back at the boarding house, to their room. he's in a different shirt than the day before and he's clearly still on the way to the land of the undead even though he's fed and fucked the night before. the panic, paranoia and self-loathing don't help.
he leans against the closed door. ) I wouldn't blame you if you did though. For this.
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she's on him in a second, hands on his face, thumbs over his cheeks. ] Hey, no. None of that.
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he smells the blood even though he doesn’t see it, swallows. ) Baby. You’re bleeding.
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Are - what can I do? What do you need?
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it’s a new trick, one he learned with danny. he kisses her palm, lets her hand go.
the question is easier from jem than it is from hopper. but they both asked and eddie wonders what that means, doesn’t linger too long. ) I need to tell you…
I don’t want to but I need to. I need you here with me. ( i need you. )
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[She walks them back. One baby step at a time, until her legs hit one of the beds. She turns his hand, presses a kiss against his knuckles. Sits down, pulls him down with her. ] I’ll stay right here. What do you need to tell me?
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he moves her closer, hand on her hips until jem’s in his lap and he can wrap his arms around her and hide against the crook of her neck. she shouldn’t trust him like this, with her the best thing he’s tasted if he doesn’t compare— )
I liked it. ( he whispers between them, tense and terrified. it’s out now, he can’t take it back. ) Her blood tasted so good at the end.
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I liked it.
Her fingers wrap themselves up in his hair. The admission sits between them, occupying the quiet It stays against her neck, close to her throat. She’s stroking his hair, she’s got a palm flat against his back.
I liked it.
Do you think this place makes us worse — ] Tell me about it.
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except she doesn’t push him back, only pulls him tight. eddie can’t quite place the last time he was held like this, as if someone meant to protect him from the world. he lets out a breath, bits into his lower lip and licks away the blood. ) I just meant to wake her up. Tried to trick the curse or whatever…
But it’s like there was something in her blood. Like fucking heroine but other, I knew as soon as I bit down. ( as if it’ll make it better. he holds jem like a life-line. ) She wasn’t struggling at all until the end, until the panic and pain really kicked in but she was as weak as a kitten, mewling so soft, and tasted so good and I—- I couldn’t stop. She tasted so fucking good until—- And then she was gone.
And I— ( he cuts himself off, shakes his head. he’d been so goddamn disappointed he couldn’t have more. ) Fuck. I’m so sorry.
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He feels safe, even as he describes the death of another human being. Maybe there is something here, something that makes them worse. Something that makes them stupid. ]
I don’t know what makes blood taste better or worse, really. But - probably, the adrenaline. Serotonin. Oxytocin. It makes sense.
[Maybe you get closer to a soul in that final drain. ]
Did - did you just like the blood? Or was it the killing. Because those are two different things, Eddie.
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🎀