medals | !INBOX // EUDIO.

It just seems a bit soon. If someone told me they loved me after barely knowing me, I'd be raisin' my eyebrows, you know?

[Especially out of the blue. But, Celeste is not Jem and she tries to be understanding here. ] D'you at least have feelings for him?

I adore him. [She's quite frank about that, because there's no point to this conversation if she beats around the bush.] He's sweet, and patient, and so funny, and - really, really beautiful, I can't even imagine how I caught his eye in the first place, never mind held it. He's got this sort of lopsided smile, and -

[Jem knows him, Celeste. Or of him, anyway. Going into unnecessary detail.]

- and he does know me. That's the thing that makes it so hard. He's seen through things about me that no one else ever has, and he stood up to me and made me be honest. Not just with him, with myself. I don't know how it's happened, because it really hasn't been that long, but he understands me better than just about anyone has in my life.

[Celeste makes him sound utterly charming, the idea of him the most romantic thing in the world. It sounds very Disney, if Jem's being honest. The kind of thing she's seen a million times in movies and wondered if she'd ever find it in real life. The truth is that she and Petre are still figuring each other out and she's mad about him anyway. She prefers that; she likes learning all his secrets gradually. And of course, they're not all nice. Petre is a monster wearing a boys face, but he's never been anything but honest about that.

When Celeste is done, Jem gives her a gentle look. ] Does that scare you? That he gets you?

[It's likely better, how Petre and Jem are doing it. Celeste has an entire avalanche of secrets coming, ones that could shake them to whatever foundation they've been able to build when they do come out. For now, he's a sort of dream, and she wants to make him real.]

Yes. [It's a nervous little laugh, as she plays with a biscuit more than eating it.] Yes, it's terrifying. I'm this - incredible mess of lies that I've slapped together to convince myself and everyone around me that - I'm not even sure, that I'm normal? Nothing hurt me, nothing will, it's all fine? And I can't say a word of a lie to him, not that sort of lie. Which means he'll find out what a mess is under the mess.

[She looks up from the biscuit, dark eyes searching Jem's.] This all got very personal. I should've had several varieties of tea and biscuit for this, probably tiny sandwiches.

[She let's all of that sink in, just for a moment. Not for Jem's benefit, for Celeste to really comprehend all that she's just said. All that she's just admitted, to Jem who isn't even sure she has the kind of face that makes people open up. She's not entirely sure she's the kind of person who's really capable of these conversations.

But, here she is. ] You've just said it all to me.

[That she's pretending, at least. ] If he gets you, he'll get all of that too. If he loves you, he won't mind if you try to be honest with him about yourself.

[She sure did just spill out the entire fallacy of Celeste to someone she's spent all of one evening with. It takes her a moment to recover.]

Well, you have night terrors, don't you? And you seem very cool and put together. You must know a little something about hiding the cracks because you're afraid they might all just spread and blow open one day and you mightn't be able to live with what's left.

[Oh no, she really is getting too personal. That actually makes her wince.]

Don't - you needn't tell me anything about any of that. I'm just a bit of a mess right now. You're right, if he can see me so clearly, he may already know.

[Well doesn't that just so close to home that for a moment Jem is visibly stunned, eyes wide and mouth parting just a bit. She's utterly terrified of coming apart of the seams, mostly because she already has. In tiny bits, piecr by piece.

She's quick to pull herself together; though suddenly, she hasn't got much of an apetite for sweets.]

You've got to trust him, is all I meant. If you do then - he's not gonna mind if you're a bit of a mess.

Oh my god, I really am sorry. I'm a complete pillock. I shouldn't have said any of that.

[All that shock on her face tells the clear story - no words, but enough intensity for Celeste to be sure that she's compared her problems to someone who has much, much worse to deal with.]

You can't stand me now, can you? It's worse when I don't try, then I make an even bigger mess of things.

[She doesn't like it, the back tracking. Makes her feel like people have got to tread carefully around her (and they do, honestly) instead of saying what they think. She shakes her head fast, dismissing it entirely. ]

Don't. I can take a bit of mindless venting.

[And that's what it is, really. ]

I'll get back round to the point, shall I? [It's said with a little laugh.] I've never wanted to do this, and now I do, and it's because this amazing bloke's said he loves me. I just don't know if that's the right reason. And it's still - huge, I don't even know if it's the right thing to do in a place like this. If I'm ever going to get attached, should it be when I know I'm leaving?

[She's been thinking about this too. She thought this, right at the beginning. She's been thinking about it more than ever now that she's made a commitment. And she's come up with nothing. What advice is there to give here?

It's nice to think of forever and happily ever afters, but who in Eudio is really going to get that? ]

Honestly? I don't know. I really don't.

[Now that she's lowered the expectations here. ] But if we weren't where we are, I'd tell you - just get to know him better. See if you like all of him and all of secrets. That's what being with someone's all about, probably. Knowing them.

I suppose you're right. [She gnaws on the corner of her lip, then finally nods.] It's a lot, someone knowing you so well, but it's half the equation. Isn't it? You're far more sensible than me about it, but really, hearing that someone loves you will throw you for a terrible loop.

[Especially her, for so many reasons.]

Tell me about it. If Petre said he loved me, I'd probably do a automatic reboot.

[That was a really good lie she just told; she almost believes it herself. Amazing, what denial can do for a person. ]

Best thing to do is ask each other questions. That kind of thing.

Petre.

[She sits up sharply, all the worries of her life forgotten, incredulity that looks very close to bordering on hilarity spreading across her features.]

Petre's your boyfriend?

[rude celeste!!]

- yeah?

[There are two reasons for this kind of reaction and they both involve Petre naked. This is where's chose to lay her affections.]

Has he not. Mentioned that? [guess who is in trouble]

Oh lord, no, don't - [Well, she can't say it's not what it sounds like, because she has slept with Petre. Here. Or not slept, but rather had sex in rather public places. It's just so much more than that.]

- it's all a bit mad, really. I knew him back home, but he was some sort of - alternate universe version of himself. He lost his memory and everything, but he was just gifted like all of us at the school. Not a demon. And only seventeen years old.

[This never fails to blow her mind, no matter what the context that brings it back up.]

Perhaps he's the settling down type here, I could hardly say. I'm still getting to know this version. He just - really wasn't when I knew him, the exact opposite. I'm fairly certain he was out to shag his way through the entire school, professors included, and he had a good long list of tickmarks already.

[She laughs; chokes a bit on her tea and laughs some more. He doesn't change; not in a different universr, not in five years - Petre stays the exact same.]

Bloody hell. No, he's exactly like that. He's slept with half this city by now, probably.

[Insatiable is the word.]

And that's - I mean, you're alright with that?

[She's not judging. She's really feeling this out, with some personal investment, in fact - she doesn't want to tie Caleb down if she does ask him out, and doesn't want to be tied to him. The idea that such a thing could work has only been a notion to her so far, since she and her closest partner at the school operated with no relationships whatsoever, and Jem's in a position to let her know if it really is feasible.]

[She shrugs.] It's just sex, isn't it?

[He's not out declaring his undying love for the whole city. Another sip of her tea.] So I don't mind. It doesn't mean anything really, when I sleep with anyone else. It's the same for him. If he was - treating someone the way he treats me, I'd be bothered.

Right. As long as what you've got, the two of you - as long as it's special.

[She nibbles idly at a thumbnail for a moment, never actually biting it off. That's the thing that's given her the most pause for thought in this entire conversation: an open relationship that works. With Petre, even. She's starting to think this really could work, and that she might do it.

God, it sends a terrified thrill up her spine.]

Do you know, when I first turned him down back home - he was a limited shapeshifter, two forms. Male and female. And when I first turned him down, he assumed that I must be a lesbian and tried it on with me as a woman. But with my nullification, the moment he got too close, he just ended up as himself in drag. [Sistas befire mistas. She had to hear that story.]

[Oh no; she loses it, hand coming over her mouth as she bursts out laughing. She can picture it easily enough. She's seen him in lingerie, after all; picturing him in a dress or a skirt isn't difficult. But picturing him thinking himself so clever and only to have it backfire so spectacularly. It's gold. ]

You are kidding me.

[Why is he a nerd in every universe, she is wondering. ] Ooooh my god, he's an idiot. He's a genuine idiot.

Well, be fair to him. [Even though Jem's mirth has her giggling right along.] Nullification doesn't belong in a psionic academy, and it's exceedingly rare anyhow. He had no way of knowing when he'd never heard of me. But neither does shapeshifting, it was a secondary gift, so we fooled each other.

[And her attempts to calm herself just end in a long snort, which brings her right back to giggling.] He is, though, an incredible idiot.

What else can he do, where you're from?

[Because she knows the basics of what he can do when he's home. ]

His psionic ability is compulsion. If he tells you to do something, you do it, and it feels as though it's of your own volition. Quite a terrifying gift, but he never turned it on me, of course. He might have done from a far enough distance... I wonder if he just never thought of it.

[But no, Petre would have thought of everything. She somehow earned never having that happen, which is an odd thought.]

He was a complete terror, but we just had fun. The academy was so dreary and dull, you needed someone as mad as Petre to dream up any real fun.

[It doesn't sound that different from he's said he can do back in his own world. That's a curious thing. ]

I suppose it depends on how boring. I think I would have avoided, back when I was the right age to be in school. I used to be quiet.

[If Celeste can imagine Jem demure and shy; desperately trying not to stand out.] So you just cancel everyone's powers out then? Super villains must love you.

!INBOX // EUDIO.

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