[ It's been bad since the first one left, disappeared, went up in smoke or slipped through the void. Billy hasn't fully thought about it, because it's frightening. It's like when people die — everyone says they're in a better place, they're up in heaven or whatever, but Billy doesn't know about that, even with his new take on a saint's medallion. What if it's not better after all? What if you just rot? And John, seemingly, couldn't even rot. Where do you go after this shithole? Back home, somewhere else, or nowhere at all, and what would be worse?
Billy doesn't say any of that to Jem. And he won't now that House has hobbled off to die like that dog in Where the Red Fern Grows. House is Little Ann, too fucking sad about Old Dan dying, so she goes and dies herself. It's fucked up. Maybe Billy gets it. He sort of got it when he read the book in gradeschool, and he'd cried for nearly an hour, missing someone in particular and wondering why that stupid yawning emptiness wouldn't come and claim him too.
Eddie's coming. In the meantime, Billy finds Jem's elbow, knocks his forehead against hers and mutters: ] What needs to get done?
[ Feeding chickens? Dealing with that smelly goat? Setting off with her to find the cart? Or he can sit there with his hand on her side and his forehead against hers until Eddie arrives. ]
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Billy doesn't say any of that to Jem. And he won't now that House has hobbled off to die like that dog in Where the Red Fern Grows. House is Little Ann, too fucking sad about Old Dan dying, so she goes and dies herself. It's fucked up. Maybe Billy gets it. He sort of got it when he read the book in gradeschool, and he'd cried for nearly an hour, missing someone in particular and wondering why that stupid yawning emptiness wouldn't come and claim him too.
Eddie's coming. In the meantime, Billy finds Jem's elbow, knocks his forehead against hers and mutters: ] What needs to get done?
[ Feeding chickens? Dealing with that smelly goat? Setting off with her to find the cart? Or he can sit there with his hand on her side and his forehead against hers until Eddie arrives. ]