- RUBI INBOX -

[medals]

JEM WALKER

TELEPATHY - LETTERS - DELIVERIES - IN PERSON

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Comments

[otherbitches]

it's too fucking hot to take your special tea. better start thinking of names.

[medals]

enjoy celibacy then

[otherbitches]

i could pull out.

maybe.

[medals]

i recall we had this exact conversation in a closet once
and you did NOT FUCKING PULL OUT

[otherbitches]

and we got a test and breakfast sandwiches the next day. that was a pretty good date, right?

my pull out game used to be tight. i dont know what happened.

[medals]

whatever
if we have a girl we’re calling her maxine
:)

[otherbitches]

jesus christ absolutely not. she'd never let me live it down.
we can call it 'kit.'

[ .... ]

you know. after the car from Knight Rider.

[medals]

you are a fucking dork

if it’s a boy it’s steve, after my dad. :)

—jolted into voice

[otherbitches]

NO?

LMFAO

[medals]

Uh, yes? You already used your veto.

[otherbitches]

We're not naming a child Steve. Every Steve [ one Steve ] I've met is a bitch.

[ ... ]

Not that I'm calling your dad a bitch.

[medals]

I can’t believe you just called my dad a bitch?

[otherbitches]

It's not my fault he has a bitch name.

[medals]

If you want to get laid this month, you better consider your next sentence veeeeery carefully.

[otherbitches]

[ Motherfucker. ]

I've got a history with Steves. Don't you have a fucking grandfather or something?

You don't want to name a little bundle of joy Kieran?

[medals]

Oh, sure. That can be number two.

Did a Steve break your heart?

[otherbitches]

No, Steve didn't break my fucking heart.

[ And... he's already lost. ]

He's just some loser from back home.

[medals]

[hmm hmm - ]

Oh! King Steve! You talked about him at prom, right?

[otherbitches]

[ kInG sTeVe, everyone! ]

Yeah. His suit was a fucking joke.

[medals]

Okay, tiger, calm down.

[otherbitches]

I'm plenty calm. Come on, you saw it.

[ ... ]

We had a thing. I caved his face in and he hit me with a car.

[medals]

Maybe next time just try asking him out.

[otherbitches]

JEM.

[medals]

Yes, my sweet angel baby boy?

[otherbitches]

[ AUUUGHHHHHHH. ]

It wasn't like that and he wasn't like that.