medals | CUDDLR.

is that supposed to make me feel bad

[ because it kind of doesn't ]

nervous maybe.
not exactly sure about my skills as the Big Spoon, alex. maybe i'm terrible at it. maybe my knees will be too adventurous & you'll find yourself trapped.

Edited 2015-05-26 23:30 (UTC)

I reserve the right to elbow you

[ is this alex summers voluntarily and freely talking about physical contact? hold the press ]

gasp would you really elbow a fair maiden such as i?

yes

[ not even a moment of hesitation ]

i'm reconsidering your cuddling and cheek smooch rights here mr. summers you should tread carefully lest you find yourself sleeping on my floor next time i drunk call you to come over.

also i'm real bony are you sure you wanna mess with me

yeah, i'm used to the cold.
i came here in my winter best so i suppose i'm extra prepared.

( from here. )

Edited 2015-06-03 01:17 (UTC)

You're lucky! I didn't really plan for a blizzard so I'm taking advantage of a bit of magic.

tsk tsk and you call yourself british

I was told it was going to be warm, Jem!

it's cute that you believed we were gonna get stable weather

It doesn't bother me! I'm a witch. I'm fine.

you're using a heating spell rn aren't you

Maybe? :)

that's cheating ms granger!

It is not! How is using what I have cheating?

:) you're welcome.
i bet everyone is dead jealous of them too, where you're from.

( from here. )

[o-oh...]

Perhaps not to the point of death, but they ought to be quite jealous.

[Preeeeeeeens.]

yes they ought to be!
what's it like where you're from then? are there a lot of fairies?

Of course! I however - I do not live among them.

awh no, why?

Because... I am a terrible exception. I did not fit in with them, but I would like to change that.

omg bless your heart
maybe they should change to suit you

Who is Oemjee? Can he truly bless my heart?

i
well

hmmmmmmm

Hmmmmmmmmm?

it's a shortening of 'oh my god' like
a figure of speech??

i mean a priest could probably bless your heart but you don't wanna go to church

Oh, I see. Why didn't you just say so?

human, remember ?? we are all lazy texters.

But not everyone here is human. Would you be more considerate for those of us who cannot understand you?

my bad, sorry

I accept your apology.

[WELL, SHE WASN'T EXPECTING THAT. ]

OH
thank
you

:)

( from here. )

[ SO NOT GOOD AT THIS BUT HERE WE GO. ]

You're welcome.

[ Because that's what you say right? Right. ]

What's :) ?

you're pretty cute too. i like your hair.

it's a smiley face ! like :) happy
:( sad
:D really happy
>:) you're probably up to no good

Thanks.
I try to keep it under control.

[ Actually he does take care of his hair. Pomade is important. ]

Oh yeah
I've seen something like that before
;D

ah yes, the winking grin.
the most famous of all

Yeah I made the mistake of sending that to the wrong person
We hand write most things where I'm from.

did you hand write that emote

did you ???

Emote? Is that what they're called?
No I didn't put any faces on the letters I wrote

awwh that's a shame
i used to put some in letters i wrote to friends in school :)

Oh you went to school?
That's cool
I guess I never considered adding pictures.

for a while
i had to leave bc of stuff

they help make your feelings known OR they are really passive aggressive

Yeah
Stuff kind of gets in the way

[ Stuff he...knows. ]

Everyone keeps using them
I'm going to have to get used to it huh?

fraid so :(
they're easy to decipher at least

I'm not so sure about that
I think people are taking some liberties

which ones are you having trouble with?

:3
How is that a face? It looks like a walrus yak.

it's a cat face hahahah

Oh.
I guess that makes
I don't know not sense but I guess that's the least weird thing around here.

you're not wrong there
is it that different from where you're from?

We write letters if we're not using the radio phones or talking face to face.
So it's taking some getting used to.

god
what year are you from?

174 AG

[ Which obviously means a lot, right? ]

wtf is ag

It stands for after genocide
Which is the years from the genocide of the air nomads.

[ Yeah. ]

I know it's kind of morbid.

little bit, yeah

✓

✓ ✓

oh
people still use this thing

looks like it
it's a very civil way of saying 'nice face'

yeah, it's what i figured
or nice hair

well tbf you have both
i'm a fan of strong ponytails like mine

yours is pretty damn good too

my face or my ponytail :)

your face
ponytail could do better but i'm no hair expert

this poinytail is a work of art ? ?
? ? ????????

poinytail

not another word

it sounds like a sad ponytail

cease at once

superior but
slightly less

me and you
pony tail off

terms, conditions & prizes?

best swish

is that a term, condition or reward?

maybe it's all 3

doesn't make sense

term: have to swish bestly
condition: be good at swishing
reward: you are best swisher

that's cute

ok yes i'm cute but also stop

why what am i doing

don't play coy with me ponytail imposter

imposter my ass
this hair's the realest

incorrect i'm afraid

i didn't fly to earth on a pod i rebuilt myself from practical scratch for this sort of judgement

i didn't survive the literal zombie apocalypse to get sassed this much

too fucking bad, isn't it?
because that's what happens after survival
sass

and ponytail imitations

i bet you have shampoo in your world
soap and shit like that

yeah we do

right, you see, i win
i wore it well even without all those privileges what makes you think i wouldn't now

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

no hmm

i don't really like doing the my end of the world was worse than yours thing
honestly

because i lost a lot of people

yeah
i guess it stops being funny the moment you think about it

sorry

it's ok

me too

i'm sorry

haha it fucking
has no actual words for how terrible it is

no word in the dictionary to stand in for the feeling of having your heart ripped out, stomped on, fed to the wolves and then shoved back in your before someone tells you to keep walking

yeah that's about it

this cuddlr took a detour to hell
how about we raincheck

important question: have you considered other kinds of marathons (hi)

you're not asking about running are you

(hi)

was thinking of other ways of making you sweat and hugging me to celebrate

cycling
i knew it

competitive swimming? never tried it underwater or a triathlon! why not, go big or go home

idk petre can you really go for that long

i'm not the one you should be worried about

did you just put my stamina into question

just saying hellfire burns inside me jeminy it burns with DESIRE

are you sure you're a real demon and not a cartoon parody

also my stamina is FINE

excuse you i was aiming for a porno parody excellent, what are we waiting for then

you can't play yourself in a porno parody

maybe i'm busy

can't i? maybe it's a biopic a porno biopic are you

the visual memoirs of petre dodrescu

maybe !

welllllll will you maybe be busy later

you can come over if you want
now or later i'm sure i can find time to put your demon stamina to the test

yesss want me to bring something i mean like a snack unless you mean like something else

bring your kneepads and helmet buddy, i take cycling very seriously

ofc i don't mean something else
bring 4 snacks

yes ma'am! chicken nuggets and bbq sauce just for you

that is the single most romantic thing you have ever said to me

but is it the most romantic thing you've ever SEEN IMG.GIF

this is the quality content that keeps me coming back for more

i'm so happy i try so hard

your earnestness is one of the two qualities you have that i am fond of
:)

oh wow i never thought i'd make it to two

#2 is how cute your backside is in boxers so i wouldn't shout home about it just yet

i don't see why you wouldn't

i'm holding out for impressive twerking and 'didn't laugh when i cried during bambi'

if you laugh at someone's tears during bambi you're not a real person

do you have a wee cry at bambi?

i never cry :'(

even when bambi can't stand on his own two tiny legs???

even when -i- can't stand on my own two tiny legs

i'll cry enough for us both

can i lick your tears

n o

that's so selfish :(

'''can i lick your tears'''

grim

it's totally romantic

if you're a serial killer

lady killer??

dream big

always do

no tear licking but i will let you absorb them through your skin when i cry disgustingly on you.
how's that

now that is creepy

but still not serial killer level creepy

how is licking your face serial killer-esque???

licking my tears is serial killeresque

which movies have you been watching jem

the kind with the right information obviously, petre

i seriously doubt that

then you are obviously incorrect

✓

✓

do we play 20 questions now since your bios empty?

sure! i've never played before, though.

who gets to start?

usually you think of a word and i'd try and guess it by asking yes/no questions

BUT we can toss them out and do 20 q's to find stuff out about each other?

alright, then.

favorite person in the world?

my big brother, kieren.

who's your favourite musician?

too hard. i like anything played on a bagpipe, though.

top three candy bars?

are you scottish?

mars bar, jaffa cake, caramel shortbread.

nope. been there though, loads of fun really. i got quite good at highland dancing.

would you rather have a beard or a mustache?

i've been once, i think? too long to remember.

def a moustache.

cider or beer?

i could teach you, if you'd like. highland dancing. you'd look fetching in plaid i think.

beer, i like how it's bitter.

stripes or spots?

you're right, i think i would right swish in tartan.

hmmmmmmm. spots.

lions or bears?

i wonder if we could find a set of bagpipes, they do seem to have everything here.

leaning towards lions, they'd be quite cute without the teeth.

flight or invisibility?

invisibility no question.

beach or lake?

either, as long as it isn't a requirement to swim. i don't like swimming costumes much.

blondes or brunettes?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

blondes right now.

✓

why are you putting dragons out of their jobs, jem?
and what netflix shows?

✓

i'm actually evil

hell's kitchen right now.
i marathoned the first three series of friends and needed a break.

what's friends?

[YES SHE SAID THAT]

and what's hell's kitchen about?

friends is a sitcom from like 1990 something? about a group of pals failing at life.

hell's kitchen is a cooking reality show with chef gordon ramsey, who i think i might be related to since i also get very angry at shitty cooking.

sounds
fun?

it is v entertaining

so if i'm bored would you netflix with me?

absolutely

come over! you can meet my new cat. all it really does is sleep and meow for food, but it's cute.

cool
it'll be the first one i think, that isn't a plush toy

i hope you're not allergic

you have my address, yeah?

we'll figure it out

i don't think so

[she quickly sends her address, ends it with xoxo and here/a>.

✓

✓

hiya :)

Hi. What's the deal with Netflix? I've seen at least three other people on here talking about it.

it's both a great date activity and also a great way to lose literal days of your life to 90's movies

That's what I heard. There's supposed to be wine involved too, according to some people.

wine, beer, a litre of vodka and no mixers - honestly, it doesn't matter much.

The Netflix is the important part?

some people will tell you no, but they're liars and don't appreciate what they've got.

Which is thousands of movies and television shows at their fingertips?

exactly

✓

Hot damn.

✓

are you disturbing the universe?

Every day.

2015?

tail end of 2013
if you're asking when i'm from.

Yes. It seems wise to establish given the variety of residents here.

you ran into the people from the 40's yet??
so weird. part of me wants to warn them about thatcher. like maybe i can make the world a better place.

✓
RIDE TO HARLEM, HOLLYWOOD, JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI

DON'T BELIEVE ME
JUST WATCH.

DON'T BRAG ABOUT IT JUST SHOW ME!

awwwh loki you're my favourite party god
throw us a party

{Run; 'cuddlr script'}
✓

✓

did you put playboy on your profile ironically or completely sincerely

Want to find out?

you look a bit like hefner with a goatee

I'm 100% Stark.

you'll have to elaborate, mr. stark
there's no famous billionaire playboys by that name where i'm from.

What a sad, lonely world you live in.

[Don't tell him what to do. :/]

lol well you're not wrong

Generally.

specifically in this singular instance

Deal with many people, do you?

generally.
none of them are billionaires

First for everything.

Tony.

jemima. jem. whichever you want.

are you really a genius too?

Well. Yes.

what kind of genius though

All kinds of genius.

Science, technology, engineering. Covers a lot of bases.

but could you write a literary masterpiece mr genius?

You can do anything if you put your mind to it.

✓

✓

does this mean i've got game

means im willin to find out but do u?

depends on the day honestly

yea girl i feel u scool sup

honestly
i haven't really left bed today and am considering a life dedicated to having my flat mate hand deliver food to me here

like that se7en movie n shit

errr not quite

sounds like it tho

but that's
that's nothing like the plot of se7en

yea it is this one guy was in bed then this other guy ate 2 death

oh my god that's not happening

well ok good so thats not happenin

haven't quite reached that stage of misery or gluttony yet
fuck sake i feel like i should be getting out of bed now to avoid a fate worse than death

glad i got u 2 see the light u wanna go out

will there be beer

hell yea i know how 2 treat a lady

current outfit does not suggest lady but it's what's on the inside that counts

where?

im new here u got any ideas?

what kinda place do you usually go?

to the club but u probably wanna b able to talk to me

i think i know somewhere in between :)

gps me? when u wanna meet up

[and she sends the gps!]

you settling in still?

sure but i aint got a lot w me i can make it there p quick

:) yaaay
you don't have to rush or anything, though.

nah its cool when u headin there? first 1 there can text

i'll leave in a few minutes
can't meet somebody for the first time with a birds nest for hair etc

[she's psyching herself up to go outside, ok, no judgements. ]

yeah i feel u wanna make a good impression 2 wont disappoint

✓
i'm asking.

✓

did you come from one?

yeah.

what d'you wanna know?

dunno how did shit go down, i guess

what wasn't like dawn of the dead or anything.
it was like weirdly specific? people who had died in 2009 all came out of their graves in December 2009. nobody before 2009 and nobody after. i was 14 and there was a panic, obviously, but we know now that's what happened.

we thought for a while it was like the films; you get bit, you turn. you die, turn. so we burned bodies and stuff. but that was bullshit. it wasn't a virus, nobody else was affected except the people who died in 2009.

the only thing that was like the films was them eating brains. they can't eat anything else, goes right through them.

that fucking sucks.

no shit.
not so bad now, i guess. still bad, but not as bad.

my brother's one of them.

couldn't put him down?

actually couldn't haha.
he took down my best mate and i stared him down and just turned and ran.

but i mean, he's - medicated. we've got this shot back home that helps set their heads right. brings them back to themselves if they take it every day. still dead, right enough, but they're not rapid.

[ No response for a long while. ]

aint like that where i'm from your brother's okay?

yeah he's okay i guess
still embarrassing. he was here, actually, for a bit.

i don't many places get a treatment, honestly. there was a girl here that used to room with me in my old flat, beth? don't think she really believed me, even when she'd seen pictures of my big brother here.

beth? beth greene?

yeah, that's her. tiny blond?

yeah

she's dead i don't understand how this shit works

what?

sorry she was your friend i shoulda said that different

howd it happen

[ Another long pause. ]

it werent the dead. how could she be here?

she was here months ago, before christmas. time and stuff can get fucked up here, though.

i don't understand.

[ :( ??? ]

uuhh this might be an easy way to explain it.
so i came here after some pretty messed up shit back home. one of my brothers friends was killed and i came the day after the funeral.
few months later my brother shows up here and she hadn't died yet, for him. he was like, a week behind me somehow? time can get messed up and people you know can show up all out of order.

thats goddamn crazy.

wait till somebody you know leaves and comes back with no memory of who you are, mate.

dunno what to think about any of it

i try not to think about it 90% of the time.

did beth suffer?

she had one of the worst goes of it since the world turned but she was strong not then, no.

she was really nice. not fake or too optimistic or anything, just really nice.

just how she was do people show up more than once here?

[ Could Beth come back? is tangible. ]

she was here two separate times and couldn't remember her first time.
so it's possible.

this place is somethin else i can believe the dead rising up though so i guess i gotta deal sorry for how weird this conversation is

it's not that weird, it's okay.
you gonna be okay here?

dont matter. if it's real i cant leave til i see it through. gonna go get shitfaced now tho

getting shit faced on the first day is kind of a right of passage for apocalypse volunteers i think.
if you want company, i can throw them back. if not, don't get into any fights or anything. they come down hard on that.

best to be alone. i'm a real dick when im drunk see you around?

yeah, probably.

good luck.

✓

[ That check is only because he is curious about this 'zombie apocalypse' thing. It is doubtful his world has ever had such a thing. ]

What is a zombie apocalypse, if you do not mind me asking? I am unsure about the meaning of the term.

[The reply takes a little bit of time to come while she weighs the pros and cons of answering.]

the dead eating the living.

[and then, a minute or so after,]

it's a really popular horror film genre, but it was real for me and a few others too. i had a specific batch of dead people rise from their graves, for a few other people it's a viral infectiom that's really contagious.

Your clarification is appreciated. I do not indulge in the viewing of films nor have I encountered such a disease in my world.

[ Nor would he ever want to. The dead eating the living? Most unpleasant.

But his curiosity is sparked now. ]

Were the people who rose from the graves certifiably dead? Perhaps the disease that killed them mimicked the signs of death to such a degree that they were buried mistakenly and once done with the incubation time, those symptoms disappeared, thus leading to what would appear to be a revival.

no it wasn't a disease or an infection or anything like that.

nobody really knows what caused it. everybody who died in 2009 specifically rose from their graves if their bodies were in good enough state to push their way out. nobody before, nobody after.
we thought it was like the films, at first. if you got bit, you were infected etc. turned out that was bullshit. worst anybody ever got was a rash, far as i know. most folks from my home town were smart about not getting bit.

So it relied on being dead before the start of this pestilence? And you say there are movies that use the same premise. People viewed those for enjoyment?

i think so?

and yeah
people love scary films.

I have noticed. They do enjoy fear, provided it is easily contained.

Might I request recommendations on these movies you refer to, as to study this phenomenon?

sure?

zombie movies:

↣ night of the living dead ( 1968 )
↣ dawn of the dead ( 1978 )
↣ day of the dead ( 1985 )
↣ shaun of the dead
↣ 28 days later
↣ planet terror

other stuff:

↣ the ring
↣ texas chainsaw massacre
↣ night of 1000 corpses & the devil's rejects
↣ silence of the lambs
↣ child's play

Your suggestions are appreciated. What a unique look into the human mind.

I shall watch these over the next few weeks.

hahahhahahahaha if you're an alien i absolutely do not think these are the best movies to gauge insight into the human condition.
they're pretty fucked up.

I have spent some time among humans before arriving here, though had yet to encounter such movies.

Are there movies you believe would offer better insight into the human condition?

sorry mate, all i've got is the lion king. and that's about animated lions.

That is sufficient. I shall inquire of others for their recommendations.

good luck, with what you've got to watch. maybe watch with a mate.

✕

[ eheheheh ]

you this rude to every girl who wines and dines you?

i just wanted to play hard to get so you wouldn't think i was a floozy welcome back

awh caleb you shouldve thought of that before you got naked on my couch!

thanks :)

weird i seem to remember someone else getting naked on that couch with me i wonder who it was what brought you back?

well, i was convinced to drink a bottle of vodka

oh you know
stuff
things

that you used to lure me in the first place! stuff and things it's food isn't it

caleb holt i will not be made out to be some kind of vodka temptress

gasp how did you know

how about a temptress with vodka, that seems right to me because you haven't asked me to buy you any yet

rude

i'm on my way to see freddie with bacon rolls, so

so i guess you go big after you go home

100 mcdonalds

did you ask to become the owner

i could never do that to ronald mcdonald

im jem i dont know how to tell you this but he's not real

of course he's real

uhhhhhh

imagine not knowing ronald mcdonald is real????

so how do you feel about santa

well he's obviously made up

obviously hmmm

yes, obviously

so how much did you miss me

well, i was staying with my boyfriend and we say the biggest, fluffiest dog? and i was thinking gosh, i hope caleb's dogs are doing okay, i love those dogs :)

oh wow that wasn't predictable at all!

how are my best pals???

well now i dont know if i should tell you

how dare you caleb holt

no, how dare you, jem walker

you dare keep a girl from best fluffiest friends?? that's cruel

you're right cruel is your shtick

how am i cruel!!

well a hi caleb how are you i missed you would have been nice

hi caleb how are you

i'm great just great how are you

i'm doing okay
i missed you

also, i missed your dogs

aww i missed you too! and the dogs missed you were you around when i brought the puppies? i forget

if i say no, will you bring me puppies?

well i can bring you one i gave the other two away

well that was very inconsiderate of you caleb

well considering i regret giving one of them to the greatets asshole in all the land i half-agree

well petre didn't bring me a puppy so idk who you could be talking about?

kavinsky if you havent heard of him then i envy you

heard the name, don't think i've ever met him personally.

good you might want to keep it that way

harsh words from the man who likes everybody

looks like one is no longer the truth while the other will be forever

what does this mean

i dont like everybody but those are harsh words

caleb you're like one of the nicest people in this city

that's nice of you to say it's not the truth but thanks

lol modesty doesn't suit you though

jem when have i ever been modest

just now

i think you're overestimating me jem it's cute but

show me your nasty side and i'll reconsider

sure get me another bottle of alcohol and we'll work on it asap

beginning to think you need alcohol not only to get it up, but also to be mean too

or to be mean when i get it up?

lol! i dunno why caleb you've just got this face that makes me doubt you could???

yeah i bet i look like an angel

cute farm nerd 🤓

you knew you had a fetish

haha it's definitely not sweet farm nerds :)

there go my chances oh wait

selfie your best mean face to me

[ look he grew up with petra okay ]

ahahah what the fuck

can't do the time don't do the crime

embarrassing for you

i feel no such thing

i'm embarrassed for you

how embarrassing for you

[jfc it's like texting petre]

bye felicia

sure jan

✓

i mind both bony elbows and knees. we can never exist in the same space now

sorry, but my bony knees and elbows exist in every corner of this city

im moving out

where is the nearest city that is not here

hmmmmm....

where did you come from?

moscow 🇷🇺

out of luck
there's bony knees and elbows in russia too

say it aint so.....................

we're everywhere..................

😦🔪

✓

fuck yeah dogs

i can hook you up with a lad who has a lot of dogs

i'm in

but i checkmarked *you*, you know

yeah i know
but i mean we also have the option of cuddling and stealing some fluffy dogs

well i'm always for that

especially if they are extra fluffy

also huge and extra cuddly
i have to live vicariously through all of you who have dogs you see

like a giant, barking pillow?

can't have one of your own?

i have a cat, she's very spoiled

dogmeat would probably try to make friends with her, honestly

she might turn him into a dog servant

honestly he might be okay with that

your poor dog, he'll never know what's happened to him

as long as he's well fed and gets ear scratches

i'll have to do that, diana doesn't share food

well he won't mind too much

diana, huh? do you have a picture of her?

loads! 1 ATTACHMENT.

oh my god, she's gorgeous! look at those eyes. i can see why she thinks she's in charge, she's a queen

she's very cuddly too, but mostly bossy. wonder where she picked that habit up from.

[from u jem.]

is it being bossy or is it leadership skills?

the only thing she can lead is me to her food bowl.

that's probably enough for me too most days

well, food is the most important parts of the day?

good food is!

what's your favorite food?

sausages with mash potatoes and lots of gravy.

oh that sounds amazing.

what about dessert?

✓

Dog fan, you say
I have four
Does that get me bonus points?

that depends, can i pet them?

you can pet all of them
please do
they love to be pet

yesssssss
the magic words.
i used to have a cat here. sadly she's at my parents house at the moment, otherwise i'd offer her indifference as a trade.

haha that's okay
no trade necessary
the dogs will just require pretty much all of your attention for as long as you'll give it

well i can do that. that is exactly what i do anyway when faced with a dog? it's probably rude? but they're so fluffy? and lovely?

ikr
how can you see a dog and just not want to pet it
people who resist that temptation aren't to be trusted, i'm pretty sure

exactly. who wants to be friends with someone who doesn't want to pet a dog???

not me, that's for sure
so I think we're gonna be great friends

✓

also not a fan of cannibalism, holy shit, coincidence

[ hay gurl haaay ]

✓

it's mostly the kind of cannibalism that comes in horde form tbh. gives me the cold sweats.

[hay boy hayyy]

in horde form? well that sound freaking horrible
we just had these dudes who lost their minds ppl started calling reapers
took ppl into tunnels and ate them ig
shockingly, i never had the interest to investigate

yeah that sounds familiar
was it a virus???

nah
sum kinda drug addiction appartnly
ppl in a fallout bunker doing fucked up things with science ig
apocalypse brings out the best in us all

that's a new one
'i was on speed and that's why i tried to eat my mum'

rite
not that i ever got friendly enough w them to chat abt it but
sounded abt like that

✕

Though you have me curious about how cannibalism came up.

zombies, mostly, are the how.

Actual zombies or bath salts zombies?

actual zombies

That's fucking rough. We've just got the hypothetical kind. People checked out and milling through life without fucking living.

we've got them too :)

CUDDLR.

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( BRAINIEST )

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( BEAMINGLY )

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( GIRLPROBLEM )

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here this can kickstart a rando date

YAS

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