medals | !INBOX // EUDIO.

[Whether or not Gwen and Verity like cats doesn't cross her mind. She is keeping it; they can take Lady Di from her cold dead hands. But - she pauses, watches him carefully and then snorts, eyes back on the kitten. ]

Careful there. My big brother already thinks you're my secret boyfriend.

[How long can she just stare at a kitten? Forever?]

If one of the girls hears you talk like that, I'll get twenty questions.

[Petre takes it as a joke, of course. He smiles all the way through, bringing up a finger to play with Jem's hair, brushing some behind her ear.]

Well, shit, I got you a cat. I might as well be your boyfriend.

[She means it as a joke; she's half laughing when he responds, except her chest gets tighter and there's a nervous, frightened energy about her. Not of him, but of facing her feelings in front of him. She wets her lips again and she's smiling still. A small thing; the corners of her mouth dimpled. ]

Don't joke about it, I might take you seriously and ask for a dog on our anniversary.

[Her chest just gets tighter and tighter and when she breathes, she feels like she might burst. She glances up at him, through her lashes and - she could tell him, now. She could just say exactly how she feels and it'd be done with. She tickles under the kittens chin to keep her hands busy and tries to rearrange the words the right. ] You know I like you, right?

[He's still smiling, even if his lips are softer around the edges. There's something new about the way his eyes travel from feature to feature, too, attention all on her. She keeps playing with the cat, showering her with affection, but Lady Di might as well not even exist. He's only thinking of Jem now - how glad he is that she didn't leave after all.]

Yeah. Of course. I like you too.

[Her whole face goes fond, like he's said something incredibly endearing. Too subtle, she thinks and this time, her smile's a little brighter. ]

I care about you, you bloody walnut.

[Confessing to Gary had not been this hard; all she'd had to do was kiss him and that had been that. Everything with Petre is in reverse. ] A lot, is what I'm trying to say here. You know, with feelings and all that stuff.

[nailed it]

[It'd be a novel concept, being cared for. Cole already tried to tell Petre he was worried about him, when all he could see was the fear that the monster might come out. Genuine friends aren't something he really believes in. The only exception is Diana, and she's more like a sister.

Far as Petre is aware - and he's very aware - he's too atrocious to ever be liked. Through the bullshit he pulls up, through his blunt crudeness and sometimes careful manipulations. He doesn't exactly try to hide how much of an asshole he is, but what she saw the other night was... the opposite of that, maybe. The eagerness to have her around, the fear that she might be too scared of him. He didn't want her to leave. She didn't want to leave him, either. That's why they're both here right now.]

... With feelings.

[It's why she stayed in the first place; even frightened and out of her mind, she cared about him. Even if she's still not sure if she'll ever be alright with what he does, she cares and she can't stop. She doesn't really want to stop. He's always so ridiculous; always so ready to make her laugh. Even now, bringing her a kitten, he surprises her.

If he thinks he's not the sort to be really liked, Jem's not sure how she was ever supposed to resist. ]

Yeah, with feelings. [She's resisting the urge to shut her eyes and cover her face with a palm. ] Please don't make me talk about how much I like you. [It's honestly too gross for words; I think about you all the time / all I do is talk about you.]

[His arm slides around her back and shoulders, angling his head with curiosity in his eyes. This is new. Someone talking to him like this, making him guess what's coming afterwards without laughing out loud. On any other person he'd think it was pathetic, but this is Jem and the thought makes his chest warm.]

But I want you to.

[His finger lifts her chin, turns her face so they can look at each other.]

What kind of feelings?

[It's a little strange, fighting between wanting to shrink away in embarrassment and feeling compelled to be as honest as possible. If he's guessing, she's not aware. It's so onvious to her, why shouldn't it be as obvious to everyone else? There's a small pause while she lets her chin be lifted and she watches him, trying to decide if he's messing with her.

Lady Di drifts off in her lap; a tiny, purring ball. Honestly, Jem's envious. ]

Apparently, [a good start] I talk about you all the time. [She wets her bottom lip. ] So. Romantic, I guess. [she's so good at this.] You know, when you're with someone and your heart beats really fast, or tummy gets in knots? Your chest feels like it's too tight.

[He's thought it before, again and again, but it doesn't stop. This is new. Something he hasn't had before, from anyone, not in a way that actually feels genuine. He's manipulated people into doing anything for him, into being devoted in horrible ways, but there's none of that here. Whatever he did was out of his own volition, not some ulterior motive to get his way.

The silence that follows is thoughtful, contemplative. His eyes search her features like he'll find something new if he just keeps looking, but no. This is the Jem he knows. The Jem he adores, he thinks. His only reference is Diana when it comes to caring about someone else, and while there's no comparison between the two girls, Jem is very much still within the scope.]

... Yeah. I know.

[His hand moves from her chin to her neck, her shoulder. Brushing her hair back, tucking some of it behind her ear.]

When I thought you were gonna leave me, [A pause, because he's looking for words he hasn't used before.] It hurt. I didn't want to be without you.

['Like' isn't enough, but 'love' is an impossibility for a thing like him.]

I want you.

[It's a slither of honesty she's not fully expecting. Though, she hadn't been sure what to expect at all from after telling him this. She spent the first few weeks in Eudio drilling it into herself that falling for anyone was a no-no. She had naively assumed it wouldn't be possible; Gary had been a fresh wound after all. But here she is; Petre says he wants her and she wants to let him. More than that, she wants him too. It frightens her how much; how much she's willingly allowed herself to overlook for him.

She leans into his touch, quiet as a mouse. She watches him carefully and feels something fierce in her chest, close to possesive. It's new; she'd been jealous of Gary's ex because she'd been the love of his life. Here, she knows there's no point in getting jealous; there's a city full of people to fuck. Petre flirts with almost everybody. But it's the emotional connection; she doesn't want to share it.

Suddenly this feels like such a huge conversation. ] I want you, too.

[It feels like a weight off her chest, too. She reaches out to place a hand against his jaw, fingers gently caressing. ] You can have me, stupid.

[There's no need to waste any more time with words, is there. He knows what she means now, and she knows what he means. He can have her, and he will. With a smile he leans in, presses his lips to hers, careful not to disturb the peaceful and small Lady Di. It's a kiss that, while heartfelt, does not quite make it to hungry, but Petre still finds himself a little breathless when he stops, resting his forehead against hers.]

You know I can't do relationships. Not like they're supposed to be. Right?

I know. [Jem knows; or rather, she suspected. She's smiling too, so maybe she's alright with that. At the back of her mind is Ariadne and how fucked up about Johnny she'd been. They need to keep talking, she knows, to avoid ending up like that. But for just a moment she wants to indulge in the quiet intimacy of his forehead against her own and the way she feels embarrassingly pleased. ]

We don't have to be monogamous. We don't have to be anything. I just - [and she feels a little breathless too, having it out in the open. ] I just felt like I was gonna burst.

I know. What you meant.

[Having to get it out of her chest. He's relieved when she says it doesn't have to be monogamous, and realizes he doesn't quite want it to be nothing, either.]

You're the one who matters the most here. That's something, right?

[Who knew those words would ever come out of Petre's mouth.]

[This is all so new to her, too. Talking this out, being plain and clear. Jem's last relationship had been rash and not thought out. It had been attraction and admiration; desperation to feel good about herself. About anything. She had spoken to Gary about all the things that kept her up at night and never once about them. Every bit of this is mostly winging it.

She'd said something similar to Kieren; of course, she'd been drunk as hell, but she'd meant it. Do you mind if you're not my favourite person in this city? ]

Yeah. You're the one I think about all the time. [Her chest feels like it's about to burst again, with the ferocity of how much she wants him. So she kisses him, her nose nudging against his, her hands moving, fingers sliding through the short hairs at his nape. ]

[There isn't a single drop of hesitation when he kisses her back, leaning into her, still careful about the small creature on her lap. He's exceptionally mindful about that kitten, his Lady Di, now Jem's, who apparently was the key to opening up the one last door between them.

He's a little breathless when he lets her go, lids lowered, eyes down and finding their way back up to hers.]

You're fucking amazing, Jem. It had to be you.

[So Petre smiles, like he's relieved to have gotten that out, too. He'll be confused as fuck once he steps out of here and sobers up from whatever it is he's feeling - love is too ridiculous for a demon to even consider it - but leaving isn't so much as an option right now.]

[It's not love, but it could be. Jem's struck with how easily it could be and she's terrified of that. She's never been in love before. She's never stopped to imagine what it would feel like. Just this is almost overwhelming.

Whatever this is, it's reciprocated as much as Petre can and that's - she'd been expecting the opposite, really. She's happy, she realises very belatedly. She's the happiest she's been in a very long time and it's in part because of the demon in front of her.

She glances down at the curled up bundle in her lap, smiling. She scratches atop her head and then carefully places a cushion onto the coffee table and then gentle picks Lady Di up and puts her onto it. It's not as warm as her lap, but it's softer and bigger for her to stretch
out on. Then, all her attention is back on Petre.]

So - you wanna do this?

[This. Christ. ]

Yeah.

[The answer comes without hesitation, quietly searching her features with his eyes. Like he's seeing her under a new light, like he's trying to find something he's never seen before. Maybe it's the way she looks at him, how he never really thought about it. He can see it now, of course. She likes him, could love him, and he feels whatever a demon's equivalent of it could be.

(Never love. Only the desire to possess, to consume. One day it will hurt her, but Petre doesn't think about it. He doesn't see that.)

His hand brushes on her cheek, clearing a strand of hair.]

No one else means the same.

[Obviously there will be no reference to a monogamous relationship, as he pointed out before. He needs to be with people all the time, different people who offer him different things. But only Jem can give him this.]

Us seeing other people, but always coming back to each other. Can you promise you'll always come back to me?

[Envy comes too easily. It's true.]

[The way his eyes are searching over her features, her own watch him intently. Her own hands rest restlessly between them, thumbs idly fumbling over one another. No one else means the same. It has her stomach in knots all over again, her breath catching in her throat.

It's enough. She nods, a slow bob of her head while she tries to keep her smile small instead of bursting into a grin. ]

Yeah. I'll always come back. [She can't imagine not being with him at all. Maybe that ought to frighten her.

There should be boundaries, she thinks. Ariadne had been a clear example of that. But which ones to set? Which ones to admit to? She's easily made jealous, too, even if she'll deny it. ] I dunno if - we should talk about what we're allowed to do. Ariadne didn't make it clear with Johnny and now she's miserable.

[She doesn't pause to think if Petre knows them. Doesn't matter. ] I really don't care if you sleep with the whole city, is what I mean. But I want stuff to be ours. [the lingerie. she's talking about the lingerie. ]

Okay. [There's no hesitation in following her line of thought, head tilting only slightly.] What's ours? Tell me everything.

[It's almost funny how not five minutes ago she could have thought of a hundred things and now that she's been asked, she pulls up a blank. She doesn't really have to feign consideration while she thinks long and hard. She doesn't want to be unreasonable, after all. ]

- The underwear; no one else gets to see that. [Mine, mine, mine is what she's thinking. There's one notable exception, but even at that, she'd rather be there to share the view. But: she's started small. ]

[And where he'd been serious before, Petre actually gives her a grin. A soft one, eyes narrowing slightly, cupping her face to plant a chaste but lingering kiss. He can't get over how much she liked that. How much he loves that she did.]

It's all yours.

Okay. Good.

[She gives his mouth a quick peck; a silent thank you. Quietly, she marvels at how this is this first time they've gone this long without descending into full on making out. Restraint is, apparently, possible with the right distraction.

But: point two. ] Are we dating other people? Or just sleeping with them?

Huh.

[Good question.]

No clue. What constitutes as 'dating'?

Uh - I suppose if you take someone on more than one date? Or make a big deal out of if.

[she's really calm, but don't be fooled: if he makes a big deal out of a date with someone else, the incredible sulk will be released.]

!INBOX // EUDIO.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)