I think you're building it up too much in your head.
[This is rich, coming from a girl who over thinks every aspect of her life to the point of self sabotage. But she's also the best person to recognize it, too. Jem knows what it's like to fall for people too easily. Gary, who she had looked up to since she'd been fourteen and who had then made her feel worthwhile. He'd built her up, taken the time to be with her and she'd fallen for it (and him) hook, line, sinker. Cole, who had been dangerous and vulnerable and lovely - who she'd fucked three times, two with Petre there - and who she'd loved so much that thinking of him now makes her chest hurt. He hadn't loved her back, not the way she wanted him to. Petre who is, at his core, evil and ultimately probably terrible for her in the long run. But who is also compassionate, who gives her the attention and the time she needs; who listens and who understands all her worst qualities and enjoys them. She loves Petre enough to do things which, a year ago, would have been utterly unthinkable.
She doesn't know what it's like to fuck casually like Freddie. There's Raven, who is still a dear friend. Who she'd sleep with again and know that it wouldn't be a thing. But it could be if it happened enough times. They're both damaged enough and crave love enough for it.
She watches Freddie very carefully in between that last sentence and the next. ] I don't mean that you're wrong, though. Just that you're thinking about it too much. If we fucked, for example, right now - and if we fucked again, a week later and maybe a few times after that, are you worried one of us would get a dose of the feelings?
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[This is rich, coming from a girl who over thinks every aspect of her life to the point of self sabotage. But she's also the best person to recognize it, too. Jem knows what it's like to fall for people too easily. Gary, who she had looked up to since she'd been fourteen and who had then made her feel worthwhile. He'd built her up, taken the time to be with her and she'd fallen for it (and him) hook, line, sinker. Cole, who had been dangerous and vulnerable and lovely - who she'd fucked three times, two with Petre there - and who she'd loved so much that thinking of him now makes her chest hurt. He hadn't loved her back, not the way she wanted him to. Petre who is, at his core, evil and ultimately probably terrible for her in the long run. But who is also compassionate, who gives her the attention and the time she needs; who listens and who understands all her worst qualities and enjoys them. She loves Petre enough to do things which, a year ago, would have been utterly unthinkable.
She doesn't know what it's like to fuck casually like Freddie. There's Raven, who is still a dear friend. Who she'd sleep with again and know that it wouldn't be a thing. But it could be if it happened enough times. They're both damaged enough and crave love enough for it.
She watches Freddie very carefully in between that last sentence and the next. ] I don't mean that you're wrong, though. Just that you're thinking about it too much. If we fucked, for example, right now - and if we fucked again, a week later and maybe a few times after that, are you worried one of us would get a dose of the feelings?